i get to come out twice! :D XD

[GreenRaven]

Lol, I came out to my parents as a lesbian when I was 17....in a very blunt should-never-be-used way...I just blurted it out while she was driving me somewhere XD No letter no warning just "I'm gay" and then the silence happened....

Took my fam a while being conservative christian, but my friends in high school who helped me realize that I liked the ladies were there for me the whole way :3. Eventually they came around, and now they are very supportive and my mom actually likes taking me to this gay christian conference thing that happens every year in different parts of the US. She met a lot of parents of gay children and everything in the whole spectrum and it definitely helped her.

As of yesterday I have come out again to my family as a transgendered female to male. I was a little worried about how they would respond but I did it in a better way this time. I wrote my mom an email that was legit like a 2 page essay on how I've felt this way for a while, and that I took my time, and I researched into every nook and cranny of this way of life and that I spent time seriously thinking about it...so they would know that it wasn't just like a random thought that I decided to go with. I offered her links for parents of transgendered kids, and told her that the head of the trans section on the gay christian forum we both go to was willing to talk to her if she wanted. I also put in the 3 names I've been debating and told her why I picked them and which one I liked best so far, but that I wouldn't make a final decision until we have all sat down as a family and talked about it. I told her I want, and would love, to have their opinions and input on them, or even if they had other name suggestions...that I wanted us to go through this as a family, not alone.

Her response was more than I ever expected. She said that all they wanted was for me to be happy, and that they would do whatever they could to make sure that happens. From helping me find a therapist once I move back in with them next week, to taking me to appointments if I don't have gas, they are here for me. She really appreciated the links, and did take me up on the offer to share her username with the head of the trans group on that forum, and I actually sat in on a conversation they had in a chat room, just in case I had something I wanted to chime in. It went really well, and after that chat (about an hour later) I had an email from my mom asking if I would like them to call me by my first and middle initials, PJ, as a gender neutral name until I decide on what I want my name to be.

I had her forward my email to her to my dad, brother, and sister so they could read it to, and I'm only waiting on a response from my sister now. My dad said that while it isn't his first choice of something he would want to deal with, it's not really his choice to have, and that he loves me a lot. My bro just kinda said he wasn't sure about it yet, so I told him to take his time and process it. My sis doesn't really check her email much so IDK if she's even read it yet. I think they're all gonna sit down and talk in a few days once my grandparents are back in Florida at their home, because I don't want them knowing. at least not yet. They are both very fragile in their health right now (both have been hospitalized for heart problems in the past 2-3 months) and they already don't deal very well with the gay thing. So I don't want to add more stress to their lives. My aunt knows, I actually told her first XD and I'm sure by now she's told my Uncle, so all that's left is my other Aunt and Uncle, my other grandma, and all my cousins. But they don't have to be until after I start therapy and whatnot. but I believe they will be ok. Especially my older cousins considering two of them are gay themselves (one is getting married in like 2 months! I wish I could go to their wedding but they didn't have a lot of money so they couldn't invite all the cousins :/ )

So yeah, that's my epic coming out twice story

I do have a girlfriend atm, but she does not know. She is moving in a week to AZ to live with a friend and go back to school, and when she moves we are breaking up (but still staying friends). I will find the right time to tell her sometime after then.

[swimmingkevo]

Wow! Congratulations on having the courage to come out to your loved ones! Your absolute sense of confidence about the whole thing probably helped them feel more at ease. Reading this was very inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

[RueBea85]

^ I totally second that!! The way you came out so easily, I am so glad that your family was so supportive! Good for you and congrats!!

[GreenRaven]

Thanks! Yeah I wanted this time to be no so hard on them, so I made sure I took the time to do the research and what not before mentioning anything at all.

I just got an email from my sister, and she was really great about it. She confirmed my suspicion that she is bi-sexual, but then informed me that she is also bi-gendered which I had no clue about D: (she then proceeded to ask if she could borrow my clothes sometimes XD I told her go for it if they fit haha) She took the time to say that she definitely agrees that I seem like I act more comfortable in guy's clothes, and that therapy would be a good idea before doing anything like going on T or whatevs, which I was planning on anyways so is all cool. I'm really excited about moving, not only because I haven't seen my family since...uhh...I think Thanksgiving last year? (Seen my mom more recently, in January for a gay christian conference that she takes me to every year) but also because I've been talking to some Trans groups in the area and can't wait to meet fellow transguys!

I fully intend on telling the Panera I'm transferring to down there that I identify as a guy, so they don't get all confused when I start transitioning and whatnot, and so that I can put my name I choose on my name tag, not my birth name. I'm pretty close to making a choice, just want some final opinions from my bro and sis before I say "yeah, I'm going by that name now."

I'll miss it up here, I really love New England, but it will probably be easier for me to transition down there anyways, with my family and friends around to support me. ^_^

[Theory]

That's awesome how easygoing your parents and other family are about it! Very inspiring and great read. I hope your transition goes well

[Dewey]

Hey, GreenRaven! I'm really happy for you It's definitely not easy coming out as trans, especially to conservative parents. But they seem to support you in whatever you decide, so that's good. I only hope they don't think being trans is a choice. To me, it seems more obvious that one's gender identity is not a choice than even one's sexual orientation. But whatever, you are you and nothing can't change that, even someone's opinions. Congratulations!!!