Just came out

The first person I came out to was my therapist.

I remember bringing it up to him in one of our sessions and he said that he had a lot of experience in the matter. We discussed it for multiple appointments and I went through phases of wondering if I was bisexual, or just going through a phase, or just wanting to try something new. Eventually, we settled on the fact that I was indeed gay, and I accepted it. I decided that I’d come out of the closet when I was in college, and my parents weren’t around. Then I could just bring someone home one day and, well, surprise them. That didn’t happen.

I went to my mom a few days ago and told her I was gay.

Now, my mom is all three of the things that a gay kid like me is terrified of. Catholic, conservative, and anti-gay, so I had a lot to worry about. I came home from being away at work for a week and I had one day to tell her before I had to go back to work for another week. The days had been going extremely slow because I had decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I was going to come out to my mom on that day. So, I came home, and I was in a panic attack. Luckily I can hide them pretty well by locking myself in my room and taking a shower until I calm down. My mom was sitting in the living room watching TV while I was researching how to come out to your parents on the internet in the other room at one point, and banging my head against the shower wall at another (Not unlike this smiley. :bang. I finally calmed myself down enough to go into the living room and sit down. At the last possible second, when my mom was going to go to bed, I told her I needed to talk to her. The websites had all told me to say I was gay without beating around the bush, and to say it without fear or sadness, so I did that. I told her I was gay.

Her reaction was actually awesome. I had a lot to fear because of all of the conservative, catholic, anti-gay stuff, but it was really all quite an experience to see my mom actually become happy at the fact that I was gay. She was proud that I was able to gain the strength to come out to her and she was really on board with it all. My therapist told me that I’d find support in places I didn’t expect. I really didn’t expect my mom to be so supportive. She even pointed me towards this website, being extremely helpful in the process.

Now, here I am.

I’m still alive after coming out. I’ve only come out to my mom though. I need to come out to my definitely anti-gay brother, and my totally totally absolutely anti-gay dad who once told me that I could bring any one home to date as long as it wasn’t a guy. I hope those coming out stories go as well as this one, but as it stands, I’m still not out to my brother or my dad, or my friends for that matter. I’m terrified because telling all of these people is going to be quite a challenge. This story went well, but I'm afraid, and almost positive, that those won't. It’s going to be a rough year.:help:

 

That part about my dad is probably true. He keeps asking me if I'm going out with some girl or what my type of girl is. Every time he tells me that I should go out with a specific girl (which is kind of weird for him to say), I just say, she's not my type (which is the truth). Then he always asks, well then what is your type. I'm thinking he's suspicious. I've never had a girlfriend before, and at my age I'm apparently supposed to have had one (according to my friends, my brother, my dad, my mom, my aunt, and my grandparents), so I think everyone's a little suspicious.

 

Thanks. I'm sure my brother will probably have his ideas about gay people changed, but my dad is definitely going to have trouble with it. He's a difficult person.