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Officially out to my son

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by tayana, Jan 26, 2008.

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  1. tayana

    tayana
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    My girl and I had a date last night, and we ended up making out. My son was asleep, but he hadn't been feeling well. Normally he's a very sound sleeper, but this time he woke up and walked in on us. He just looked stunned for a moment and said "I'm sorry," and went back to his room. I made my girl leave, and then went to talk to him and just let him ask questions.

    I explained that when we first met Heather at the arcade with her kids, that it was sort of a date. I had talked to him before about being gay and what that meant, and I had hinted that I was gay. Not having a girlfriend though, meant that I just didn't have anything to really show him. So this was a good opportunity, although not the circumstances I wanted. So I told him that I was gay, and explained that Heather was sort of my girlfriend, although we aren't using that term officially yet. My son had told me he sort of has a girlfriend, so he understood that at least. I told him that just because I was seeing Heather, didn't mean that I loved him any less and suggested we do something special together today. I also told him that he could ask any questions he wanted, at any time, I didn't care.

    He said he was mostly fine with it, and I left it at that. He seemed to understand. The one question he did ask was, "Does grandma know about this gay thing?" I said no, and I'd rather he didn't tell her. So, now I just have 3 more poeple to come out to, and I'm out to everyone. Of course those 3 will be the hardest.
     
    #1 tayana, Jan 26, 2008
  2. biisme

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    well, i'm glad that he seems to understand! how old is your son?
     
    #2 biisme, Jan 26, 2008
  3. JSG

    JSG Guest

    (!) Congratulations tayana !! :eusa_clap
    Coming out to your own son must be very hard.

    I admire your courage (*hug*) I'm glad everything went well and that he is very understanding about it, it must be a little awkward for him.
     
    #3 JSG, Jan 26, 2008
  4. Alex89

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    You have a great son! =)

    Seems like you managed to keep it from becoming awkward so well done and hope it all goes well! And definitely do something special with him, since it might still be a bit of a shock to find out your mother is gay. He might need to really know you're not a different person to the mother he's known. =)
     
    #4 Alex89, Jan 26, 2008
  5. Zeraphath

    Zeraphath
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    Wow...was that hard? My son is 8 and I still haven't come out to him.
     
    #5 Zeraphath, Jan 26, 2008
  6. Astaroth

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    Wow. You are one brave lady! I applaud you for your courage in talking to your son so openly. Huzzah! (*hug*)
     
    #6 Astaroth, Jan 26, 2008
  7. TriBi

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    It sounds as if you managed to turn an awkward situation into a good opportunity with a promising result. Congrats and well done!
     
    #7 TriBi, Jan 26, 2008
  8. tayana

    tayana
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    My son is just a few weeks shy of 11. It was fairly easy, but I'd been agonizing over what to tell him for a few weeks. It was just the right time, I guess. We did do something special. We went to the dog pound to look for a puppy. He's saving up to get a dog, and that was what he wanted to do.
     
    #8 tayana, Jan 26, 2008
  9. biisme

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    yay!!!!!! again, i'm happy everything turned out so well.
     
    #9 biisme, Jan 26, 2008
  10. s5m1

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    It sounds like you handled that really well! You are obviously a great mom. Your son is very lucky.
     
    #10 s5m1, Jan 26, 2008
  11. CerahWright

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    i couldn't imagine having to do that. I mean, i probably would have freaked out when he walked in. Any way, congrats and i'm glad everything is going well.
     
    #11 CerahWright, Jan 26, 2008
  12. Alexander

    Alexander
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    sweet! :slight_smile:
     
    #12 Alexander, Jan 26, 2008
  13. Hollywood

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    wow. i'm so proud of you! :slight_smile:
     
    #13 Hollywood, Jan 26, 2008
  14. Nodnarb

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    Congrats! Sounds like you handled it well, and its great that he's seems to understand!
     
    #14 Nodnarb, Jan 26, 2008
  15. Bromptonrocks

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    Well done....a great reaction from your son.
     
    #15 Bromptonrocks, Jan 27, 2008
  16. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    well done! sounds like you did a great job. your relationship with him should be so much more open now. it's a great step. i know that i would want to be told if i was about 10. good luck with the other 3.
     
    #16 Psychedelic Bookmarks, Jan 27, 2008
  17. GlindaRose

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    Wow, congratz! You have an awesome relationship with your son!! I'm glad the reaction was good. :grin:
     
    #17 GlindaRose, Jan 27, 2008
  18. Zeraphath

    Zeraphath
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    Thanks very much for posting this! It gave me the courage to come out to my son. Not sure how much he understands but I think he got the gist of it.
     
    #18 Zeraphath, Jan 27, 2008
  19. tayana

    tayana
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    Oh wow, Zeraphath. I'm so glad it helped. I hope your son understands.

    Thanks for all of the good wishes everyone.
     
    #19 tayana, Jan 27, 2008
  20. Zeraphath

    Zeraphath
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    He reacted well. I explained that some guys want to marry guys and some women want to marry women and some people like men and women. I explained that I didn't want to marry a man but I did want to marry a woman. He said he still wanted to marry a woman when he grew up and I said that it was ok he can do that. I just want him to be him. We talked a little more about it and now I feel that I can go to a gay friendly church with him. It really took a lot of pressure off...again, THANK YOU.
     
    #20 Zeraphath, Jan 27, 2008
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