Well i decided how sick and tired i am of still having to use my facade in school, so i just put my website address in my other MSN account (not the one in my profile, but one i use for everyone that doesnt know) which, for any of you who have seen my website, will know it's incredbly obvious as to my sexuality. There is even a link to this website so if my classmates dont read between the lines on this one, theyre incredibly stupid. I was going to do it this school year but i just dont have the energy and the time for planning, so i figured id give them a way of knowing without actually having to do really, anything myself. And as if it's not going to be obvious enough when i come into school this year with platinum blonde and pink hair....i can't wait, this is just too easy.
Well it's been there for nearly a day and no replies in my guestbook or i haven't gotten any emails/im's at all. My friend's say i'll pay the price but that's a chance that i'll take.:icon_wink
:tantrum: This. Is. Frustrating. I offer them gossip on a platter and no takers. I can't work like this people!:eusa_snoo The plans was to show just enough of them my website, they spread the word and it's all dealt with before school begins. Blast damnit this is JrHigh, gossip following you everytime but when you need it. :tantrum:
- -UPDATE- - Well i've received my first comments in my guestbook...all them the same "u gay" different people though. And im just getting so drained thinking about this and the school year and having to excute part two of the plan and i feel i need to be reminded again: What's keeping me from just giving out my real (and obvious give away) email address? I mean i just really have gotten to the point where this whole facade thing is getting bleak. I just don't care anymore. I really don't, i mean, homophobes and anti-gay comments and attuides just dont depress me anymore, instead they anger me...so really, why am i hiding anymore? And i don't want anyone to answer with "Well just do it then if you dont care." If you can think of a worst case senario that would make me want to draw back, please take the time to do so...because honestly i find it somewhat hilarious that i simply can't think of any reason not to, i honestly find it boring and pointless to hide any longer? Anyway, i'm going to sit patiently and hope someone here at least replies.
Well, of course when you come out you always take a chance. Worst case scenario I think, is if someone extremely homophobic finds out, he/she might do something very bad to you. Meaning, using force, not words.
Well i fight dirty (mace, rocks & other projectiles)...plus im constantly followed by my swarm of girlfriends) so i doubt hate crimes will be my downfall. Thanks for responding tho! Anything else? I'll give you guys until next week to convince me to do otherwise, no sense in rushing things.
All I can say it just see what happens. I know when I put up my profile at myspace it pretty much outed me to the world. My brother now knows I have a myspace and chances are he might come across my profile and see it. Plus he'll be shocked to see what he reads on it. I'm not stopping him from cussing me out or calling me names. If he does, then he is no longer my brother and he won't get any love in return. Sorry for the crappy story. But I would just go on, and be brave.
YAY someone close to me! im from NS!! I assume your in grade 7-10?? Girlfriends are good, I have a backup army and theyre all popular (dont know how that happened) so they know any popential physical threats and could get them off my back. They don't know yet, but I think theyll be cool, and might have already guessed. Its nice to have girls, theyre the best friend a gay guy can have, aside from falling in love with you. I couldnt have been happier when my 8th grade teacher responded to an anti-gay comment with "HEY! gay guys are the best friends a woman can have, over half my male friends are gay! Who else am I supposed to ask about birthday ideas while im in Home Outfitters?" she was the best...
I HEART your teacher hahaha, we kinda had one like that, but no one was dumb enough to make an anti-gay statement here. And lol, you didn't know i was from NL? i knew you were from NS since i got here. haha. But yeah, i couldnt live without my girls, i mean, if i had to befriend a straight guy:icon_roll , AHHH! dont even wanna think about it....But everyone's pretty mellow here in St.John's, hate crimes are unheard of.... Besides, all the kids who could beat me up are too busy smoking pot at The Blue (a river behind the school where stoners gather in herds, lmao) to even notice me. Oh i'm a Grade 9 btw. 5 days left til' i make my decision.
Yeah, supportive teachers can be awesome...though I don't really have to worry about that seeing as how literally 70% of our faculty is gay, almost all the rest are liberal, and there's one republican...but no one knows who he or she is...I have a sneaking suspicion that it might either by my catholic english teacher from michigan or my advisor from alabama...hmmm...tricky... but yeah, I guess really the absolute worst case scenario would be that you fall victim to a hate crime...but if everyone who might be able to hurt you is off smoking pot then they probably don't really care 'cause a) they're stoned and b) they're probably liberal anyways. But really, you never know where an attack could come from...possibly even from some random person in your town who just happened to catch word that you were gay.
Well yeah guys sorry to be hesitant about the whole countdown thing but 2 days is really soon to be making such a life changing decision, espicially when we're talking about a school-wide scale. I mean this decision's effects will last my entire life. I never really realised how big this decision was untl last night and it frightens me. I really want to do this because somewhere deep inside tells me ill be happier being free. And i dont want the regret of not following through with this be with me for the rest of my life. By doing this it'll open alot of new doors for me that wont be opened until later in my life. I mean how can i attract others if they dont know im available, how can i be an example to other gays if they dont know the real me, how can i be free to do and say the things that are really on my mind if there are limitations on who i am to the public, how can i dress the way i want to if im always worrying if im giving myself away. There's so many rules and boundaries in the closet and im getting claustraphobic! I'm getting sick of this, but somehow the fear of this new territory is trapping me in this odd position of being half out and half in. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's one little sentence that keeps replaying in my head that i know its true but for some reason im still holding back: Does the reward justify the risk. I know i have to risk everything i have socially and emotionally, i have to go all in just to have that chunk of freedom that i yearn for so badly.
hey this is one of your loyal folowers ricki pleese joine me this year in coming out it would be so nice to have a friend to come out to the school with but i dont think we have to worry about anything like being shuned. BJH ROCKS REWARD SO DOES JUSTIFY THE RISKS
OMFG! Ricki! (*hug*) :eusa_danc (!) Everyone give a very warm welcome to one of my best friends here in the real world. Yay! You signed up and i will give an extra bit of thought since it'll help you.
UPDATE Welcome back to school, burdens and joys hand in hand. Well i'm back to school for three days now and it's been great. Love seeing my friends and so far, no problems (i would hope not, a problem in the first three days means trouble haha). People have become noticiably aware of something "different" about me thanks to my website idea and im ok with that. But i don't want this post to be about how easy this is going because it's not, there's a kink that has appeared out of the blue that i totally didn't anticipate: The flamboient new kid. Now you think that this would make it easier. Not. In a way he'll overshadow my subtle efforts as i prefer to work. Now in order to get anything across i'll either have to take more drastic action or Why not sit back and relax and enjoy being able to say what i want and be myself while this kid has the spotlight on him for a change. One problem. I care too much to let someone be isolated and tortured by the little f*ckers in my class to just "sit back and relax". I won't let them do to him what they did to me. And i know it's gonig to happen because its already started, today in 3rd period. My way of thinking says that maybe if there's two of us those little bastards will think a bit more before opening their mouths. This is my official plan.
Hey, I'm new on this board and don't know how much I'll post here. I'm not very consistent in keeping up with one board since I'm often busy with work and other stuff. I check this one every once in a while to hopefully find inspiration in my coming out process. So what happened at school?
Oh my nearly forgot about this thread, was waiting for someone to bring it up again so i didnt double post because it makes me look like i dont have a life lol. But yeah everything is x 1000 percent better than last year im happier more and i havent gotten any reprocussions. The fact of the matter is, people just don't care enough about a single person to beat up on them. The only weird thing now is gym because i play with the girls, the guys are too rough for me. But yeah id strongly recommend what i did, im a better person because of it. Ciao! PS: Got like 10 new friends.
New kid update. By popular demand, this guy isn't that bad anymore. I'm getting along with him. But im still going to get a root canal before i even think of dating him. He's kinda, not my type. So yeah, peace in GirlWorld people. Now if only the disfunctionality in my friend life would stop, but thats off topic and im not willing to discuss. Au revoir.
