So, I reeally want to come out, but I don't really know how to go about doing this. Who is easier to come out to, family or friends? I most want to come out to my mom and sister(11 years old) because I'm closest to the two of them. I'm more worried about how my sister will react. We're really close, despite the age difference. She looks up to me, she shares her secrets with me, gossips with me, wants to be with me, etc. and it feels great to be a good brother. I'm worried because she's immature and I don't know if she will understand. We've been to the mall together and she has whispered to me, "Corey look at that confused person, isn't that so weird?" In general she's just not very accepting of people outside of her perception of normal. I also want to tell some friends at school but I don't know how to bring it up without being like, "hey, I'm gay" because that is very attention whorish and sets me up for a bad response.
Well I think it's easier to come out to family. I came out to my brother first. He was really cool, but much older than your sister. Your sister is pretty young and I agree with you in that she might not really understand, even though you are really close. How is you relationship with your mom? If it's pretty good then maybe she would be a good one to start with. School could be a disaster if you don't approach it tenderly. I guess it depends on the school. Maybe if you have a really close friend at school that you can trust. Good luck with however you decide to to it. Let us know how it goes.....hopefully good!
I decided to come out to my family first because I am incredibly close to them. My sister, 15, was the first and was very accepting. My parents were a little confused at first because I am just not stereotypical, but they've come along great since then. I have only told two friends so far, which isn't a wonderful sample. Both have been very accepting about it. I think you have to value how close you are to your family/friends and what their views are on the topic. Telling your friends in a group might not be the best idea. Especially considering this is the first time you will be coming out. Maybe talking to your friends through Facebook, on the phone, or privately with them would be your best options. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
I think it's different for each person. Most people come out to whomever they have the strongest bond of trust and nonjudgment with first. So you have to figure out if that, for you, is friends or family.
I think it is easier to start by friends. Coming out to the closest friend (or someone you know is going to be supportive) makes it easier to come out to the next person. If you are close with your family, you may have an idea of how they will react. I started with my best friend, someone who is really open minded about almost anything, then I came out to the rest of my friends in the same group of friends. Now I know I am ready to tell my other group of friends who are not as close. I'll leave my family at the end because I know their reaction won't be good but I think They'll accept me someday. Well, I think that's what will work best for me and that may not work best for everyone, what Chip said is true. come out to the people you trust the most. About being attention whorish, I had a similar problem, I didn't know how to come out to my friends because I thought it would be weird to do it without a reason, so I told them that I wanted them to know from my mouth because I hoped we would be friends for a long time and in the future it would become obvious that I was gay because of the lack of relationships in my life and me constantly avoiding sex related conversations. Ignore the weirdness in my english, I haven't practiced my writing in a long time.
I thought it was easier to come out to *some* of the family first, then friends. Just go to whoever you think will be the most accepting, that's the key part.
I agree, I think you should tell whoever is more accepting first, regardless if it's friends or family. With me, my friends are way more accepting that my parents. My parents are total homophobes, I tried to come out to them as questioning myself and they totally freaked out, wanted to kick me out, and kept asking why I was doing this to them.... My friends however always showed support. So, it's different for each person.
Others seem to have covered everything I could possibly say, but I would like to comment on regards to your 11 year old sister. I would saying definitely come out to her, children need to know that there are gay individuals out there and it's a reality of life. It shouldn't be presented as something you keep a secret and tell when they're older, that's the only way we can influence our future generations.
Actually, I found that good friends, but not super close ones, are the easiest at first, because you have the least stakes in their getting upset about it and they are most likely to not delve deeply into your life. But I also agree with Hsj22, whoever is going to be most accepting.
Come out to whoever you feel more comfortable with first. I know that I came out to one of my best friends first.
