Okay, so I officially came out to at least one person. And it probably was the most terrifying experience ever and I didn't even get to say it face-to-face like I wanted. And they likely haven't even found out yet so I'm just squirming in my seat. I tried to tell my closest friend earlier today before class started but I just couldn't get the words out, so I waited until after the next class and I still couldn't say anything. It was nerve-wracking, and I'm usually not affected by this. Later, I left school early for sick leave, so I decided to just drop a hastily-written note in her locker and now I'm internally exploding. School's not even out yet and I have no idea how frequently she visits her locker. I'll have no idea of her reaction, when she sees or if anyone else sees or accidentally finds out. It's probably the lamest way ever to come out and I didn't want it to go like this, but when do things ever go as planned? So yeah, I really don't know why I'm posting this. I just hope this all blows over well. I wanted to tell her today but I couldn't do it the way I wanted to. EDIT: This all just happened within the past hour. I wonder if I'm going to regret this decision later.
Hi there! A coming out is a coming out, regardless of the method used. Personally, I think it is pretty cool what you have done. The only thing you can do is wait and see if she sees the note and approaches you about it. If you don't hear anything from her after school you still could get together with her and let her know in person as well. In the meantime, try to relax. Maybe go for a walk around the block or just distract yourself for a while.
so she found out. she probably read the note 30 min ago but she emailed me around ten minutes ago and she really doesn't care. i'm glad she still accepts me but i'm crying for some reason and i'm just so shocked i did that today and so scared i mean i've always accepted myself but i don't know if it actually hit me until now that this is real idk i'm just so emotional i'm crying and i'm a mess.
I don't think I was crying, but I was definitely a mess. I did something similar with my first one, I left my friend a note on his desk as I ran out to class... ended up avoiding him for the next 2 days because he never gave me a heads up (like I asked) since my phone was busted and he didn't know. Oops. Needless to say he was cool with it, albeit a little weird probably because I was awkward about it, and now he's pretty damn supportive. I think in situations like this it's understandable to be emotional (since like you said, suddenly it becomes so much more "real" now that someone else knows, it's a terrifying feeling) since there's a newfound feeling of vulnerability... but you should try and remind yourself of the facts in this situation: 1) You like girls. 2) Your friend knows this. 3) Your friend is fine with it. It's hard to do, but the more actively you can drill those into your mind (especially 2 and 3), maybe the rationality might help keep you leveled. At least that's how my mind works. There's also a bit of fear of the unknown seeing as you haven't actually heard her say the words "it's fine" yet, right? So if you can, try and muster up the courage to talk to her about it soon. In her reassuring you that it's all cool (in person), it might help alleviate some of the stress you're feeling. I'm sure part of it is that you're worried she's not being wholly honest in what she's typing. Regardless, you did it, so congrats! Maybe not right this second, but be sure to take some time in the near future and relish in the fact that you actually did this.
congrats!!! i was crying when i came out the first time i think is like a relief thing cause you freak yourself out then they calm you down quickly
there is no right or wrong way to come out, thus I don't believe there is a lame way to do it either. You've taken a big step.
Whew, thanks you guys. That was honestly the longest crying session I've ever had and it was the culmination of hiding myself for years now. It was probably a mixture of relief, 'I-can't-believe-I-did-this' and terror. And yeah, I hope I can talk to her about it tomorrow. The reality of the situation is hitting me and it's not just something in my head anymore. I don't know how I'm going to handle my other friends if coming out to my closest friend made me turn inside out, but we'll take baby steps. It's ridiculous how scary today was when I always thought it was easier than it looked. I was dead wrong.
