I feel like for me it was harder coming out to myself than to others. I finally just realized....I would be just as happy being in a relationship with a woman as I would with a man. I'm still identifying with myself to a certain extent, but I feel fairly sure that I am bi. Luckily for me, I don't have a ton of worries coming out to friends and family. The first person I told was my best friend. I knew she would be cool, but it still took me a while to just suck it up and say it. So, two of my good friends and my sister know. I'm not worried about telling my parents either. The place where it gets hard for me is that all those people live 8 1/2 hours away. It's great to have them to talk to, but I feel like I need someone here to be able to talk to in person. It's a lot for one person to sort out on their own! The place where I get tripped up is work. I work in an athletics department and in theory it seems like it should be easy to come out there, but I know there are people there who will just straight judge me. At the end of the day, I don't care what they think about my choices, but I also don't want to put up with unnecessary abuse and judgement. I've only been here about six months and there's one friend I feel like I could probably talk with, but I just don't know her well enough to know how she'll react. But, it's a start. Part of me feels like I shouldn't say anything at work until I really have to...like if I'm in a serious relationship with a woman. Any thoughts or advice?
You've made amazing progress... But if I were you, I would wait until you're in somewhat of a serious relationship. It's a lot easier for people to understand that way. Best of luck with your friend, but don't be quick to assume that she's more likely to judge you. The world has many great people in it and she could very well pleasantly surprise you. I hope this helps!
Hi there! Welcome to EC! First off, congratulations on coming out to yourself and having come out to a couple of your friends and your sister! That's already a milestone! Reading through your post, I was wondering if there are any support or social LGBT groups in the community where you live and work at the moment. Joining a support group or a few social get togethers might help you to find one or two people with whom you can talk to and relate to. Plus, it might also help you not to feel all too distant from your friends and family. I would encourage you to continue talking to with your co-worker. Coming out at work or at least knowing that one person knows, can make your working life easier (even if it might not be apparent at this point). I don't think it matters as to whether you wait, until you are in a relationship, with coming out at work. It doesn't really change anything except for the way you might bring up the subject. Once you feel comfortable coming out to your co-worker/friend, I'd say go for it, and let her know.
Thanks, all! I did come out to that friend this afternoon, and it's certainly a relief. The whole thing is actually going to turn into a ridiculous story too, we were driving around the college campus we work on looking for the ice cream truck (yes, we're total professionals). But, it proved a perfect opportunity to talk without everyone else in the department around, and she was quite cool with it. I think she was surprised to a certain extent, but was mostly concerned in being helpful and supportive. So, yay! Now just on to....the rest of it.
Congratulations on coming out to her and glad to read that it was a relief for you. Um... even professionals need to go looking for the ice cream truck from time to time.
Congratulations on the progress you've already made! Coming out is tough-- I've been out since I was 14, and I'm nearly 21 now, and it's still not easy for me! There's no need to make a giant "I'm Gay" banner for your office door, or announce it to all your colleagues just for the sake of doing so. But coming out to a handful of trusted people is highly recommended. Let people know when it becomes important for you to let that individual person know-- when it comes up in conversation, when you do end up in a relationship with someone special, whenever you decide is the right time. Don't push it, though. Wait for the right moment.
