i don't know how the hell i let it happen, but i'm out to my mom

well, it is good to have a place to sleep. i'm sorry that you're mom doubts your knowledge of your sexuality, but hopefully she will realize that you are sure with time.

anyway, congrats!

 

Well - you certainly got that one right!

Congrats on coming out to her - and just give her time. From what you said of her comment it sounds as if she is concerned for YOU undertaking a life that is not likely to be as easy is it would be if you were straight.

I think the signs are all good and that she'll come around. Becky might be able to help you with some useful PFLAG stuff too - just to make her fully aware that sexuality isn't a "choice".

 

I would be happy to. I can mail them to you or you can download and print them and have them faster! http://www.pflag.org/Book_Catalog.publications.0.html

 

yes you gotta love denial! she'll come around but like you said you are going to leave her alone for a while which I think is good, gives her time to digest what she has found out. congrats at coming out to her though!

 

Whether you know it or not, it sounds like it went pretty well! Your mom may go through some other stages including anger and depression about it, but it sounds like you two have a solid loving relationship.
Well done...
xo Darya

 

The absolute truth. Though you didn't get the rare and wonderful "I was hoping you were!" or "So am I!", you also didn't get the "Leave my house!" or "You're a liar, don't bring this up again". You don't have to push it in her face every day, but help her understand your situation better - don't come out and then let it fade away.

 

Well, first of all, congrats! Parents are a HUGE step to take. It was brave of you to talk to her when she confronted you about it. That happened when I was your age and I couldn't summon the courage to say yes, so kudos to you! You should do what I'm doing about now since I recently came out to my parents too. Sometime this week or the next, make sure to sit down with your mom again and just say "If you ever want to talk about my sexuality or if you have any questions, PLEASE let me know." I ended up getting a lot out of my parents that way so far that didn't come out the first night. Even though she might not choose this life for you, it doesn't matter because it's never a choice anyway. All you can do is educate them. Try pamphlets. Brochures. Websites. Anything that can bolster your case will only prove to her that you're serious about this and that it's not a phase that's just going to fade away. Tell her about other friends who're gay (us, of course) that range in age from 13 to 113. Just because you're fairly young still doesn't mean you have no mind and are confused about this. And if you gently nudge her from time to time, she'll get to the same conclusion eventually.

 

Congratulations!! Even though you hadn't intended to come out, I think it's really good that you did, because now it's done, and, as you say, denial is better than fury!! It sounds as though she had actually been wondering herself, or had suspicions, the way that she brought it up like that. But I think that, even though she seems to think you're comfused or that it's a phase, there has to be a time when she realises it's not. The way I see it, for me, it has taken me years to come to terms with my sexuality - I've been in unconscious denial, conscious denial, and now tentative recognition (not yet acceptance) - therefore, when I come out to my parents or other people close to me, I am willing to give them a little bit of leeway for a while, as long as they show a willingness to accept me anyway and to make an effort to understand. What I mean is, it sounds like your mum is ultimately supportive, but that her lack of knowledge of homosexuality and her lack of time thus far to come to terms with it means that she is in denial. I would, therefore, wait it out, but actively, such as by trying to educate her about homosexuality etc, and by never giving her reason to think you're confused. But I hope that once she has had a chance to process the information, she will come out of denial, and accept it's not a phase or confusion, and will become more educated on the topic. But I'm really glad that she is insistent that she still loves you

 

well congrats to you and to your mom for still loving you and not kicking you out to the curb

 

First, congrats on coming out, I'm sure that wasn't easy. As someone mentioned before, denial is better than fury.

Funny thing is, when I came out to my parents last year they told me I was too young and inexperienced to know. Yes at 20, almost 21, I was too young to know. Parents just feel that they know best, and it's hard when their kids grow up and are able to know what's best for them. Your mom probably is wondering when you grew up enough for you to be telling her this.

I guess just give your mom some time and allow her to realize you do know yourself well enough to know your orientation. Maybe in a few days you'll be able to show her the Pflag material, I'm sure it will help. Good luck.

 

Well, look at the positive-at least you're out. And your mom just had the typical parent reaction. My mom's first words after I came out: "I don't know how you can know you're gay if you've never had sex."

Parents just try to deny it straight off. There's a Sticky thread somewhere with the parent stages of grief which is really helpful.

 

This whole talk of being too young to know I think is a mechanism that parents use to help them deal with the initial shock. Eventually they think about it and realize that perhaps you can know as a teenager, and especially by the time you're old enough to drink. As that all goes, take things one day at a time and help your parents become acclimated to the reality of your sexuality.

 

just wanted to stop by and say congrats parents are the hardest people to come out to good job