So in a few months I'm moving with my family to a city basically on the other side of Australia, which means all my slow but existent progress with coming out pretty much goes down the drain. This wouldn't be so bad, but I'm about to be faced with a whole new city, school and social environment. And I get the feeling that homophobia is going to be more common down there. So, should I tell my classmates who I am early on, so that I know who's accepting and figure out my friends from there, or should I wait until later when I've settled in and gotten to know everyone? PS: If you have any questions about stuff that you want to know to help you decide don't hesitate to ask me. Thanks :icon_bigg
I personally would probably, though carefully, tell most people from the start. Because if you've accepted your sexuality yourself, and you're meeting new people, this is your chance to let people know who you are from the start.
Really, it goes down to what your gut tells you. Do you feel like potential friends should know? Would it be harder for you to come out to new friends or to total strangers? I'm treating college like your "sooner" option. If it comes up, then people can know. Until then I can stay quiet because I legitimately have no reason to mention my sexual orientation. I personally prefer the idea of sooner for myself because like you said, it lets me weed out all the people I shouldn't be friends with. But if you feel like you'll be safer if people don't know, then don't say anything. Just try to gauge people's perceptions of homosexuality. Good luck! x
Thank you both for your advice. Although, it's possible people automatically assume I'm a stereotypical dyke ( having short hair doesn't help) and don't actually get to know me at all. Other than that, I can definitely see where you are coming from. Honestly, I don't know. I kind of prefer sooner but I'm worried that I'll ge tall kinds of unwanted attention. Boys might see me as a challenge, girls could think that its fine to experiment with me and mess my feelings up etc. It's all so confusing.
Its really up to you, but I personally like assuming that everyone already knows and acting accordingly. It makes it easier for find friends and weed out the eh people, makes it easier emotionally since I don't have to worry about who likes or dislikes me and it makes it easier to make better friends. You might bring unwanted attention, but for me all of that is easier to handle once you have a group that supports you. After that then everything else seems like a joke.
^^^ And I'd be the opposite. Once people know you it's surprising how few of them actually care, even when you think they will. Just be yourself and make some friends and when you feel comfortable (even if it is right away), tell them when the time presents itself.
I think you should settle in for a few weeks, and see how accepting the people are first, then if they're accepting enough, tell whoever you think would understand. Or you could just tell everyone from the start and hope for the best. That's what I did when I started high school, since it was new people. I didn't just walk up to everyone and say it though, people asked and I said yes and it was just as simple as that. But not everyone is going to be accepting. In my school, they did, nobody gets bullied or anything for it, but that depends on the people you're around. So if you're not 100% sure, I suggest you wait until you see how the people are, and then either tell everyone, or just tell certain people.
That's a really interesting idea. I think I might try that actually. ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2012 at 11:48 AM ---------- That's a really interesting idea. I think I might try that actually. Yeah, I've gotten the 'that's nice, but I really don't care if you're gay' response from a couple of friends before. Makes you feel so overdramatic I am definitely gonna wait a few weeks. Not just for social reasons, but because I have to get adjusted to the new system (I'll be doing two year levels worth of work in one year) and academic stuff like that. Thanks again to everyone for their excellent advice, and if anyone else has any advice, I'd love to hear it.
