Here is my coming out story to date: I am 41 years old with an 8 year old daughter. Two and a half years ago, I met and made freinds with the woman who I knew was my soul mate. Until I met my future partner, I had always been in relationships with men. During my 20s, I had a failed attempt at coming out about my confusion about sexuality. (This was circumvented by my perceptions of society and my Dad, who was homophobic at the time) I entered a relationship with a guy (and did enjoy the sex) but I ended this relationship (in my 20s) due to anorexia and confusion about my sexuality. I got drunk at night clubs and had casual encounters (not ending in actual sex) to maintain a feeling of normality for the rest of my 20s. At the age of 30, my male flatmate seduced me by introducing me to pot. I might have confused the new experience of being high with love. I'm still not sure. Again, I enjoyed the sex but could never `get there'. There was an intimacy missing. Worst of all, he was emotionally abusive. I had a beautiful daughter while in this relationship but left due to the abuse. At the age of 38, I started another relationship with a guy who couldn't commit due to unfinished business with his ex. He and I became true good friend and lovers, but the equation was never quite complete...There was always a backdoor for both of us. It suited him and it suited me. We are still good friends today and he supports me in my coming out. You might be wondering about what happened in the mean time...Well, I met my current (first female) partner when I turned 40. We became very good friends in a short period of time - but flirting was awkward. She had been an out lesbian for her entire adult life, whereas I was entering the friendship with a strong heterosexual history and no experience of loving other women. In spite of that, I did love another woman. I loved her, and I took my time to let her know it... Around 6 months ago, I told my girlfriend that I had always had questions surrounding my sexuality. She already knew that I loved her as I had told her that once before...She gave me the go-ahead to take the lead...I kissed her. The rest is history. In the last 6 months, I have come out to my daughter, to my entire neighbourhood (by not hiding my affection within a community which is very close knit), to my girlfriend's parents, to my best friend from school. Last week, I took my girlfriend `as a friend' to meet my parents and grandmother...It was pretty obvious that we were a couple, and I'll bet that they are adjusting. I am actually really surprised at the level of acceptance that I've encountered so far. I was shamed when I tried to come out in my 20s, and I'm not sure whether society has changed or whether it has more to do with me. I love my girlfriend (or should I say `partner') so much that I can see a real future together. We are bound. I truly hope that this story inspires somebody who might be questioning whether or not coming out is worth it. Coming out has meant total liberation for me.:icon_wink
Yay! Congratulations on finding your happiness and **clinking glasses** here's to a fellow late-bloomer!
I'm so happy to have read that. It's good to hear that after so long you able to finally feel free and to reach a true level of happiness. I'm raising my virtual glass to you and everyone involved in the hopes that things continue to go smoothly and that you'll be able to relish in this new found liberation and joy. :]
Thanks for sharing that beautiful story. You gave another late blooming bi chick some hope that things really can work out in the end! :eusa_clap
Thanks for all of your encouraging responses. This is a really exciting time. BNQ (and anybody else out there): You can do it! It is worth it. :icon_wink
