i came out to my father 4 in the morning and i don't think i was in my right mind.

either way, i am (!) with myself.

but anyways, it was like 3 in the morning. i was reading that 50 cent biography in my room while i was in bed. i started to dooze off and that's when i went to bed. i don't know what caused it but i started to lose touch with reality and my heart was racing. i got scared because i didn't know what was going on but i know that i was saying that i was gay outloud to myself.

all of a sudden, i jumped out of bed. i went to my parents room where my dad was sleeping. i switched off and plugged his tv out the wall and woke him up. i told him that i was gay. he then asked me a some questions and i told him that i'm gay, that's was how i felt and i never dated anybody yet. don't remember what he said but all i know was that my stomach started to hurt after the short conversation and i had to take something for it. it actually went a whole lot better than i expected it to go.

there's some issues that i have with this which was that this happened unplanned and possibly prematurely as i was actually planning to come out to my brother possibly next week. i was hoping to come out to other people before i came out to my father. i also am afraid that the stress of coming out and other issues that i'm stressing over is making me feel a certain way where i'm doing things without thinking or wanting to do them. :eusa_doh: like i don't even know why i did that and i'm afraid that he might tell my brother first or that he doesn't use this to insult my mother since him and her are in an unstable marriage where they argue and fight with him being the one that usually is responsible for all the drama. :eusa_doh:

 

Re: i came out to my father 4 in the morning and i don't think i was in my right mind

thanks. (*hug*) just have to wait and see because he's very unpredictable. still can't believe the whole thing.

 

Re: i came out to my father 4 in the morning and i don't think i was in my right mind

thanks... i think i was experiencing a panic attack because i know i wasn't in my right mind when i did it. him and me actually talked more about it just now on the way to the store to buy dinner. he asked me once again if i was sure and how would i know if i never dated a woman before or that people on the internet or manhattan will plant ideas in my head convincing me that i'm gay. :dry: it sounded like he was in denial. i had to tell him that i'm 100 percent sure this is who i am, i know because that's how i feel and it is what it is.

but regardless, i expected him to kick me out the house. now it's my older brother's turn. :lol: