Hey everyone, seeing as I'm "fully" out now, I thought I'd share my coming out story with you. It's fairly long so you don't have to read the whole thing. I'll start with the basics. I'm 16 years old, and I live at home with my older brother and my mum and dad, in Australia. Currently I'm in year 11. I'm out to everyone except my extended family. I've always been self conscious about myself. I was never skinny, and I got bullied a bit in my 7-10 highschool (I think that's Junior High?) for it, which took quite a heavy toll. I always knew I was gay so the added pressure of hiding my sexuality only worsened my self esteem and, as a result, I was a very quiet and closed off person. Anyway, this year I was quite depressed. I've been depressed for quite a while but for some reason, it got really bad this year, so bad that I attempted suicide. I sought counselling which did, pardon the French, f*ck all, and when my father saw me crying to myself in my room, he decided it would be best if I went on medication. The medication worked extremely well and I've been a lot better recently. However, I didn't want to rely solely on pills to help me with my depression, so I attacked the source directly: my physical appearance and my sexual identity. I started working out and eating healthier and my physical fitness and appearance improved noticeably, as well as my self-esteem and my wellbeing, and it still continues to improve. With the weight issue out of the way, I targeted the other issue I was facing: coming out. Now, as I said earlier, I'd always known I was gay. But I'd always been a quiet person, and because I'd been bullied about my weight, I didn't really want to add being called faggot and homo to the list of lovely insults. It's safe to say I absolutely loathed Junior High. However, when I got to Senior High (Years 11 and 12), I immediately felt welcomed and more independent, as well as a lot more comfortable than I ever did in Junior High. So far I've had no insults about the weight (or my sexuality, for that matter), and the school as whole is a lot more tolerable than Junior High was. The first person I told was my counsellor, but that didn't really do much for me, and the only reason I told her is because I knew that she was bound by doctor-patient confidentiality not to tell anyone. So the first real person I told was my brother. He's 21, straight, but I know he has gay friends. I told him September this year. Me and him are fairly close so I knew I could tell him. I went into his room while mum and dad were out one day, and I told him I had something to say. I sat there for about 5 or 10 minutes breathing heavily and burst out crying. I couldn't even say the whole thing, just "gay". He wasn't really surprised, and he said that he'd noticed a couple of signs. He was really supportive of me and said that it didn't change who I was at all. The next person I told was my friend Jack. He was over at my house for the day, and I told him about my depression and that I was gay. I got pretty much the same reaction: not really surprised, and re-assurance that I was still the same awesome, funny, nice guy that I was before. I continued to tell the rest of my friends either in person, via Facebook or on the phone. A lot of friends were surprised, but I got exactly the same reaction: you're still the same person you were before. This was a massive surprise to me because, as a closeted gay, you tend to think that everyone will react negatively. Seeing everyone so cool about it really helped me open up and get over my depression, and that coupled with my medication and my improved physical wellbeing, made me into a much more outgoing and happier person. The only people I had left to tell were my parents. I only told them two or three days ago, depending on where you are (Friday the 5th of October). My mother was shocked but completely fine with it. My father, however, wasn't surprised, and he said he was disappointed. He also said that it was unnatural, especially when I said I'd have a child through adoption, IVF or artificial insemination, in response to his question about children. He also said that "if I want to live this way, it's my choice" which made me very angry, as it just really ticks me off that people think it's a choice to be gay. He also said that I could never ever change his opinion of what is natural and unnatural, and that it was ridiculous that I could even know that I was homosexual, seeing as I haven't had sex with another guy. However, they both said that I was still their son and that they still loved me. And just yesterday, after he'd had some time to think about it, my father said that it would just take him a while to get used to the idea, which is a big improvement over "You could never change my opinion on it". All in all, coming out has been pretty much an entirely positive experience for me. I've never really had a turning point or massive change in my life, so this year was an entirely new experience for me. But to anyone out there who is stuck in that stupid metaphorical closet, look no further than my story. I was full of reasons to not come out: people rejecting me, being bullied, being alone, et cetera, but I never looked at the positives. I'm glad I didn't and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you have any questions for me, just ask! Thanks for reading, especially if you read the whole thing, cause generally I babble on a lot!
