Out of Fear

This is my experience to why I came out to my parents.
Day 1-5
I had started talking to some guy across the internet who was also gay. We talked for awhile about life and stuff and he kept egging on about how I was gay and i should just tell him. I always answered the question no until I got to know him better. Once I told him he just kept saying about how he was right and always is. We talked for maybe a day longer after this. I had done something really stupid. I gave him my FB name so that he could find me and see how I looked. He kept saying on how good looking I was and all that and how he wanted to bang me at that moment. This is where I made a stupid choice because of my desperation to feel wanted in life for who I was.
Day 5
He talked about doing a long distance relationship and then he asked the question that If he could do that with me. I was soooo desperate like I said before that I answered yes. I had never met the guy and I had only been talking to him for about 5 days before this. At the time I felt really special because I had found someone who had said he would take care of me and told me how special i was to him. I didn't even like him I just...i don't know...I wasn't thinking clearly. After that started some problems just the day after.....
Day 6
I had my phone on facebook as well so he found that out and began to text me. He was always saying the same things that I didn't ever want to talk about like sex and stuff like that. We kept talking and all that while I had time in some classes. In one of my periods I don't ever text since I already struggle in it so I try hard to focus. He exploded with anger at me and it was really scary. I fixed it that night by saying sorry and all this stuff and how I would make it up to him by texting him for like 3 hours...I should of broke it off right there..
Day 7
I woke up feeling great that I had averted a crisis and all that. I explained to him the night before that I am not able to text in certain periods and I gave him the times that I was in those classes. That day went on pretty much the same until night time. He got really angry at me again for doing the same things. He was like why the hell didn't you text me and all this and started calling me names and saying I should never come out because of how horrible i am. Again I made another bad choice and I attempted to fix it and it worked again....
Day 8
This day went like the others with him getting annoyed I couldn't text him or do anything like that. He was beginning to scare me.(Sidenote: He found out what school I went to through facebook as well since i am on sports there.) I told him that I was going to hang with a girl that night(She was the second i told of me being gay because he made me believe it was the right thing to do) He was like oh alright fine I'll talk to you during that time as well. I told him we were seeing a movie and he went silent.(I lied about that) A couple hours later he started saying these things like I will do anything if you just let me hear your voice. He offered me plane tickets, a car, any three things I wanted in the world. I never responded to those so he said maybe you should just go along with your old plan and kill yourself. I still didn't respond. He then started threatening me. He said I will tell your parents and your school that your soliciting sex and selling pictures of yourself to people. I started freaking out so I tried to call him and calm him down but it didn't work. I went to bad that night crying because I didn't know what to do....
Day 9
It was a thursday and things went a lot smoother then the day before. This time I tried to fix it because I was afraid of what he could do to me. I fixed it for the day doing anything he wanted until the end of the day. I alienated my friends that day by trying to get away from them So i could call him and soothe the beast. At this point he didn't treat me well at all and played off my insecurities and fears that he had planted in me. He no longer said of how he would take care of me and support me. I was really scared of what was going to happen..
Day 10
He woke up on the wrong side of the bed today or I should say pretty much fell of a cliff. This day was the worst then the rest. I had soothed him down a bit and told him how sorry I was and all that. I then decided to tell him that I am barely coming out myself so I know i am not able to do this kind of relationship at this time; I am just not mature enough. He was enraged by this. He kept sending me all these texts with threats and stuff. They included texts saying I will come to your school and make you regret what you did, call the police or your school and say your selling drugs, tell your parents how you had been selling drugs. He had gone on with a list of legal infractions that I had never done and never will do. I was getting soo scared that I had to tell someone else about this time before It got out of my control even further to where there would always be consequences. It came to my last period of the day and i was practically bawling in my class. I told my other friend Mckenna about the situation and how I was gay. She is one of the bad people to tell because she didn't understand or accept me really. He then sent a text message with a link to an airline that he had purchased tickets to my city...I was scared to death at this point even more then before. I was afraid that I could be kidnapped and raped by this guy or he will pull a gun and shoot others. He had given me a solution to fix all of that and let it be the way it was before I broke the relationship. He was asking me for nude pictures of myself. I completely said no. I didn't want to degrade myself any further and I was going to keep to my values. I told my parents after this and said of how sorry I was for making such bad choices and I told them I was gay all over a text message. I was scared and my mom told me that everything would be alright and we will keep you safe. Made me feel a bit better. I never texted the guy back after that. That night me and my mom went out for ice cream and we talked things over and helped me with it all. She said if he threatens you again or acts on any of these that she would get the police and FBI on his case(he was 18 or 19). The whole rest of the day he kept saying texts like you can still redeem yourself by doing what I said and all that.
Day 10-Now
I have never texted him back and he stopped after me not texting him for 3 days. I still live in fear that he will come here and try to hurt me. This is one of the reasons why I came to EC because I needed more support. He made me hate myself and me being gay. I still cry in fear of being kidnapped but I also know I am safe with my parents helping me out and keeping a watch on him through "certain people" From now on I am slowly working on telling people I am gay and getting myself to accept that is alright to be this way. This has had such an impact on my life that I no longer know what I want and don't know what to do..

This is my story of how I first came out.

 

Yeah i said that in the story. Trust me my parents know some pretty high up people.