Coming out to my mother tonight

I've decided to come out to my mother tonight. My sister (along for moral support) has agreed to go out to our mother's place with me so I can talk to mom and her husband. This is extremely spur of the moment for me, kind of like everything has been these last few weeks, but it feels right.

I was on my way out to a local Halloween store to pick out a wig for a party I'm going to Sunday night (my first time dressing and going out as a woman in public so wish me luck). On the way there it just clicked in an instant. I just suddenly knew that it was time to tell her. Has anybody here ever had a moment like that, where something just clicked and, nerves or not, you knew it was right?

I'm nervous about telling her and her husband about being Trans. I think it'll be okay in the end, but naturally the nerves are there, and they will be until I get this done. When I told her about my orientation, I was crying and leaning on her shoulder by the time I said anything and once I did, she told me that with my emotional state, she'd been worried that I was going to be telling her something bad. I don't think I'll ever forget the way it felt to hear those words. I'd originally told her I was gay, and instead of getting angry, or judgmental, she just looked at me and said that, "I was scared you were going to tell me something bad." That made me cry more.

Given that response to my orientation, I'm hoping, and choose to believe, that she'll be accepting of this too, even if it takes longer for her to wrap her mind around this one.

Wish me luck!

 

Thanks Cassandra. I won't back down. Nervous as I am, I don't think I could stop myself. I think it will work out in the end. I'm hopeful anyway. And I'm really looking forward to the party. It'll be with some friends who know I'm Trans, at a costume party, at a gay bar. If ever there were a safer place to test the waters And you'll get there Cassandra. This has been a long time coming for me.

Alan, thanks for the well wishes, and rest assured that as soon as I get home tonight, I'll be here, posting about how it went. I appreciate your support.

 

Thank you Mirko, thank you danni. We'll be heading there soon. Still nervous but hopeful.

 

I'm on my phone so this will be short. I don't think it could have gone any better. I'll elaborate when I'm at home with my laptop. Thank you everybody.

 

First of all, I'd like to offer another Thank You to everybody who stopped by my little corner of the forums to wish me luck.

Tonight went extremely well. I honestly don't know what could have happened to make it any better. My sister, my nephew, and I drove up to my mothers this evening and I was a nervous wreck. Fortunately, I go into lots of situations (particularly as of late) as a nervous wreck, so I've learned to cope. While my sister kept my nephew occupied upstairs, I asked my mother and her husband if we could speak in private. So together the three of us walked down to the basement.

To my credit, I managed to at least give off the aura of calm. I think that really helped to set the mood for the encounter. I told them that I'd started seeing a therapist. My mother knows that I've had off and on depression and such (although she didn't know where a lot of it came from until tonight) After that I told them that I'd gone to see the therapist for something that's been bothering me my entire life. When she asked what it was, I told them that I'm not male inside, and that I never have been. Remembering a conversation I'd had with her a day or two after coming out with my orientation, I reassured her quickly that this wasn't a result of anything she or anybody else had done. It was simply the way that I am, the hand that life dealt me. I could tell by the look on her face that she wanted to ask, and I decided to quell that right away.

Afterward I told them that all of my friends are aware, and they're all supportive, and that my sister has been amazing as well. She sat down, reminded me that she loves me unconditionally, and the three of us spent the next half hour or so talking about exactly what this means. She asked me if this meant I wanted to become a woman physically, and I told her that it does, and we talked about transitioning a little bit. Once again, she reassured me that she'll stand behind me and support me no matter what. We talked a bit about how long I've known, what it's been like for me, and how much just starting therapy and opening up to people about this has helped me immeasurably already. She told me that she was glad that I was seeing somebody about this and taking charge of the situation. She said she wished I'd told her earlier, and I told her I did to, but when I was younger I'd been scared. She hugged me and told me once again that she would always love me and said it meant a lot to her that I had the faith in her to talk to her about this.

Her husband mostly let her lead the conversation, but listened intently. In the end he told me I had nothing to worry about from him (Which I already knew deep down. He's been in our lives for like the last 15 years or so and I've come to know him fairly well) and that, like her, he's behind me regardless of what I need to do.

Afterward, we went back upstairs and all visited together for a couple of hours before it was time to leave.

Honestly, I think that my favorite part was the fact that we sat down and had a rational, not overly emotional discussion about it. There were a few laughs, and mostly a lot of talking and questions. I answered them the best I could and told her that if anything else came to mind, or if she had any other questions, she could call me anytime or stop by and I'd be more than willing to discuss this some more.

In my opinion, and I've come out several times now, this encounter was near perfect. Although I know she's still wrapping her mind around the whole Trans issue, I also know that we talked enough that she has a good idea of where I am right now, what it means, and where it's leading. For me, this was probably the most important closet cleaning bar none. I love that my friends and my sister are in my corner, but I really needed this one. I couldn't be happier right now.

Once again, thank you all for your support!:eusa_clap