So back in July I came out as bisexual to my wife, and since then I've been slowly telling my friends and being careful about who I outed myself to. Although I toyed with the idea of coming out publicly, it was something I knew I not only had to work up to, but be prepared to catch the inevitable hell that came along with it. Last week a friend of mine and I got into a pissing match about politics. I'm hardcore libertarian, she thinks I'm ruining Romney's chances of getting elected. Somehow that ended up with her telling my wife that I had a "secret list" of friends on Facebook and that my wife needed to know what was being said on it. Alrighty, I told my wife about the list, explained that it was just a place where I could share feelings with my friends who knew, and do so without my wife looking over my shoulder. Fine. Discussion done, right? Wrong. A few days later, that same friend wrote a blog post referencing our disagreement and turning it into a "he turned bisexual then went crazy" type post. If anyone who saw that post but didn't know I was out, they'd figure it out immediately. I got a text from my wife that said "Hey, H_ just outed you. What are you gonna do?" That's when it sunk in. I was outed. I had to do what I didn't want to do and come out publicly if I was going to get out in front of this and take control of it. So I did. I posted the note on Facebook and the responses were overwhelming. Family, friends, everything. Nothing but an abundance of love and support from anyone who saw the posts. I teared up and was touched beyond belief, as did my wife. It was the most emotional thing that has happened to me in years. Over the past few days I've gotten so much support from my friends and family and coworkers. It's made me happy in a way that few things have. The veil is lifted, the secret is out. I don't really care and apparently, my friends and the people who care about me are more worried about me than my sexual orientation. I'm a lucky guy. A person I thought was a friend violated rule #1: don't out people. Period. It's never okay. Ever ever ever ever ever. But my true friends took a bad situation and made it one of the best moments of my life. Even in the crappiest situation when you're most down and alone, someone will lift you up if you give them a chance.
What a horrible friend you had omg... I take it you are no longer friends? Anyway I'm so happy for you that things worked out in the end!
Sometimes being outed can work in ways one probably would not have imagined to be possible. I'm glad you decided to take control and just put it out there. And of course, it is absolutely wonderful that your coming out went so well and that family and friends are supporting you.
Definitely not. Not even remotely close. ;-) ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2012 at 04:26 PM ---------- Yep. It's a nice feeling, that's for sure.
I'm still dealing with the fallout. My wife's aunt said "I can't accept that and I won't accept that," and my mother in law, instead of standing up for me and saying "You don't have to accept it, you do however, have to be civil about it," said "Okay, fine." Very disappointing. Ironically, that aunt's grandchildren are all very active liberal Democrats, one of whom is an elected official. They post constantly on FB about all their beliefs, gay marriage, acceptance, etc., and that same aunt cheerleads them relentlessly. She knows what they stand for, yet she has no tolerance for it when it's "too close to home." I guess it's like most people: It's fine as long as I can pretend it doesn't exist.
