Hello. I'm new here. It's kind of hard to look up sources online about my situation and maybe get a little idea from there. Well, I'm already 23 years old. I have identified myself as straight until I met my lesbian lover. We have been together for more than a year now. She has identified herself as butch and has never dated bisexuals before. With that, what she means is she always does go out with straight girls then convert them. In my case, I've always been straight, and I have never fantasized about any women until we met. We started out as two people who enjoyed each other's company. She had a girlfriend back then, and I was single but has been flirting with men. We had an affair while she had a girlfriend whom she stayed with because of stability. But she realized that she loves me me more and didn't want to lose me so she left the girl for me. We are very happy. I never knew that I could be this happy - with a girl! Now we are getting a hell lot serious than before. And we could almost see our future together. We wanted to save and eventually live together next year. The problem is, I haven't told my dad yet about us. I don't know how to explain that i have become bisexual because of this person and so on. My dad is the protective kind. Please advise. :icon_sad:
You have two options: 1. Don't. This is the easiest. He'll find out at some point. He might be kind of mad, though. 2. Do. Don't say this person turned you bisexual, because that is a scientific improbability. Tell him that you are bisexual and if he doesn't like it, deal with it.
I know that I really have to tell him. I know that it'll make my girlfriend happy and this will give her the assurance that she needed from me. I just don't know how to explain everything to my dad. In a way, I really want him to understand my situation and know where I'm coming from.
Do you know what his views on LBGTs are? Because if he is against them, then I might hold off if you still depend on him for stuff. It doesn't seem like it from your post though. But if he is neutral or for LBGT, than I see no reason why you shouldn't tell him. I mean I totally get if you are nervous, I was completely freaked out to tell people, even if I knew they wouldn't have a problem with it.
My dad is not judgmental or anything with regards to LGBT. I'm just freaked out because no matter how accepting he feels towards other people, he might have a hard time accepting mine. One reason is because I have never had tendencies before that may have prepared him for this. So as much as possible, I don't want to shock him. Lol. But I guess, either way, he'll be really surprised to know. Thank you for the reply!
No problem, I think it will be the same way for a lot of my family, of course I do have a bunch of stereotypical tendencies. But I think when you come out to almost anyone, especially family, you are nervous and get freaked out.
You have to remember how flexible sexuality is, and that it's all about the person. I know that if I fell in love with a man then his sexuality wouldn't stop me being with him - just, for me, it's unlikely and I'm very much in love with my gf and can't picture it happening. When I told my parents, they hadn't known I'd been with other girls before and only knew about one bf in highschool UGH. So they were also really unprepared. My folks are also quite religious types and conservative. But the sooner you tell them, the longer they'll have to get over it. And the reaction might surprise you - my parents were so understanding and calm, despite admitting they were very surprised (when I first said I had something to tell them Mum said 'Please tell us you're not pregnant' and when I laughed and said no, she said 'are you engaged?' haha...). The reaction is rarely the worst you'd expect. I'm assuming you live out of home? You have to prepare for the worst regardless of what is likely - at the time I was living at home so my gf and I had the discussion about whether or not I would move in with her if they kicked me out. They didn't (and I now live with my gf haha...)... but it's worth thinking about. It will also make the relief so much greater when that worst-case-situation doesn't happen. One piece of advice - don't use her as your vehicle through which to come out. Tell your Dad about YOU first, and then later talk about her. Otherwise any anger might get directed towards her (for "turning" you etc) or he might say she has made you confused and will hold her responsible. Protect your partner at all costs.
I still live with my dad. And probably, in the first semester next year, we are going to live together. If you don't mind, how did you proceed in telling them? Did you tell them right away without prior explanations? I'm kind of nervous for it but I really have to because I want to do everything for this relationship. thank youuuu!
As for my case, my friends, co-workers/bosses, and some of my relatives have been so far okay about it. It's just that I feel that among everyone else, it is going to be my dad who will take it the hardest. I plan to tell him next week. I'm terrified as hell. Hoping for the beat though. I still couldn't come up with how exactly i'll tell everything to my dad.
