Came out to my sister last night...

I feel like I have to start this off by saying I consider my sister one of my best friends. We have always been close and her opinion of what happens in my life carries more weight than almost anyone else in the world. That said, I knew telling her would be the hardest which is why it took so long for me to come out with it.

So anyway, I told her in the car. It’s just where all of our best (and most personal) conversations take place, I don't know why, but something about driving makes us open up to each other even more. I thought that would be the only appropriate place to do it. Although, I waited until she parked for me to lay this on her.

And so I told her. At first, her response was what I expected: questions about when I knew, if I was sure, and other such probing inquires. Nothing out of the ordinary, I know that she only asks because she cares and that's just the way she is. If I ever need to make any major life decisions I go to her just for that reason. However, this is one aspect of my life that I wasn't deciding, and it didn't really help.

Then came what I didn't expect: tears. My sister is such a strong person (a couple years older than me, by the way) who isn't really one for shedding tears. If anything I consider her to be jovial almost always. I mean, she's cried, but never because of me and this time she did. It wasn't because I'm gay, but because it took me so long to tell her. She's getting married next year, and had been worried that I would grow distant. So, when I told her how many of my friends knew, it stuck a cord with her (like I said, I consider her one of my best friends, and she completely opens up to me).

But after that, she told me nothing would change between us (I told her I was a little worried that it might). She told me that she loved me no matter what and that I still need to adopt kids so she can have cousins for her kids. :lol: This was also the first time I got a realistic view on how to tell my parents. We had a chance to "strategize" in a way. We both agreed that it was best to wait for now (no sense in rushing anything).

And that was it. We talked for the rest of the night, but not about being gay. It was done. It is now just a simple fact that now exists between us. In fact we talked about everything else like it always was. It's over. But it’s weird, I feel great and terrible at the same time. I knew for a brief moment that I hurt her, something that I never wanted to do in a million years. I just feel ridiculous thinking that something like that would ever change anything between us.

Well, that's my story for now. Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it. (*hug*)