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The art of projection

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Hard Candy, Nov 10, 2012.

  1. Hard Candy

    Hard Candy Guest

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I had this friend who came out to me as gay, and he was thinking of coming out,but was just too afraid to do so. I asked him why, and his reply was because being gay is not accepted in the society. So I gave him an lengthy speech about how it is more important to be happy and free, than to think of opinions of people who would forget about you eventually at some point. How his sexuality will not matter to people who truly matters, because they love him. How just because something is not the "norm," it does not mean it is wrong. Inspired my being a know-it-all, he came out and he was proud. And I was there thinking, how funny it is I could give all these words of wisdom when I can't even apply it to myself; when even I cannot muster the strength to come out, despite being supported by the idealistic beliefs I just shared. I guess am such a coward.
     
  2. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    You're not a coward, the simple thing is you know good advice but it's hard to follow it if you aren't in the right state of mind.

    'Alice in Wonderland' has a quote that depicts that perfectly: "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

    Generally there is a time in everyone's life when they know what they have to do, but are afraid to do it. Projection is always an easy psychological method of relief to use, you see it multiple times daily on the children's playground. The only difference is, as people become older and realize what it is, it tends to slow down.

    Sometimes coming out has to be forced. If your friend is now out and happy, because of you, then tell him you're bisexual and struggling much like he was. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to return the favor of building up your courage to come out.

    All the best.
     
  3. Hard Candy

    Hard Candy Guest

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    Thanks, I think your advice to coming out to the same guy I helped come out s actually really good. Because I know I won't be up for judgement. Thank you.