Alright, I know I literally put up another thread 5 minutes ago, but the content of that story was so different from this one, I just didn't want to meld the two! Here goes, So, I have a friend of the family who I came out to just a few nights ago. Ours is an interesting friendship. He's my Dad's old climbing partner from back when they were both in their 20s (they are in their mid-50s now) and they traveled all over the west with a few other guys bagging peaks and drinking copiously. I have met most of this group over the course of my lifetime, and so this friend has pretty much seen me grow up. Now, a few years ago, my Dad's friend moved to where we live in Colorado. He liked the place and just bought a house. It had been years since my Dad or I had seen him, and Dad was surprised to find that he hadn't changed. Like, literally had not. He had never married, never really grown up, and still looks like he's about thirty. My Dad on the other hand, had married had children, and now his children were grown up. Suddenly my Dad and his friend couldn't really relate to eachother anymore. I was in college at this point, and it was official that I was mentally and physically a clone of my father (except he's straight). So, his friend started hanging out with me, as opposed to him, because as he put it "You remind me more of your father than your father does..." Still makes me smile. He and Dad are still great friends, but I get to be his drinking and carousing buddy whenever we're both in town. Now, he is very straight, and talks about girls constantly... He doesn't seem particularly homophobic, but I was still cautioned by a mutual friend not to come out to him, he might take it badly. I ignored her advice and asked him to grab a beer with me the next day. We met at the brewery and I was on my third pint when we started talking about gay rights. He was vehemently in favor of gay marriage and was getting pretty belligerent about it. I realized that maybe I could come out to him after all. It would be a pretty big milestone, and he would be the first person in my parents generation I had told. So, I went for it... I told him I was Bi, and he said "So what? It's not a problem to me." I asked if it made him uncomfortable and he said hell no, and was honored that I chose to tell him. Then he asked if I had told my parents. Me: "No" Him: "Why not?" I told him the story about the therapist and how many years I had been fighting it and he said: "I can't imagine your Dad taking it badly, I don't know your Mom that well, but your Dad? Nah." I told him I wasn't so sure, that my house was pretty christian. He just gave me a long look and said: "If your Dad doesn't accept you, I see no reason to remain friends with him, I couldn't respect him after that." I was floored, and almost started crying. I hadn't had a friend lay down the law like that for me before. To feel so completely supported was incredible! It still makes me smile. I will say this again: I love my friends!!!(!) So, hope you enjoyed this, -The Seeker
Wow! That made me tear up. I don't know what it is. I just really love hearing about people aggressively supportive friends. Holy shit, that's wonderful.
It was pretty amazing, I couldn't believe he would be willing to cast aside a three decade old friendship on my behalf. Everyone needs someone to stick up for them like that. I am a very dominant personality but it is still great to have someone defend me when I am vulnerable, which I am right now; like a raw nerve... It's the intimacy of coming out I think.
True knightly behavior from him. I'm impressed. I have something kind of similar in my experience. When I got my first hookup a couple of months back, I told me good friend from fencing that I'd be going on my first date. He's like "oohh nice, who with?" I'm like "some guy named Jared." Then he says "Oh that's so cool, I'm really happy for you. Just be safe, and feel free to call me if you're in trouble. I'll bring my gun." I almost cried, I felt so loved in that moment.
It's an amazingly beautiful story. I'm glad for you. You sure are blessed to have such a loyal friend especially in times where you need one, and people like him is pretty rare. Though I find the part that he said your dad does not remind him of his old self, and that he'll not be friends with him if he doesn't accept you pretty sad, I dunno I'm not a fan of friendships drifting apart. Anyway, I wish the best for your future plans in expressing who you are, and I hope your family would accept it. For now, you have a wonderful ally, I guess that's enough for the mean time.
