So I finally did it. After weeks of struggling, second guessing, and WORRYING, I finally told my friends. They are amazing. I first seriously entertained the thought that I might be gay one night when I was trying to figure out why I had no attraction for boys. The thought popped into my head, and it stuck. Enter one awful year of hard core questioning. Finally, I found it physically impossible to keep my budding orientation a secret, so I told my mother. Big let down. She totally does not understand how hard this is for me. Although supportive, she was obviously not very happy when I told her, and since then has treated it like something that's not even worth talking about. With my consent, she told my dad, and the topic was not brought up by any of us for a long time. Feeling frustrated and alone with my confusion, I turned to K, the nighttime supervisor at my school. She too was supportive, but my unwillingness to speak about my sexuality around other people who could hear, and her inability to leave our "classroom" meant that I couldn't really talk to her. Skip forward a few weeks. Just before Halloween, I suddenly really wanted to tell the five other girls in my class, who I share a cabin with on school nights. My dad thought the idea was terrible. What does he know about how uncomfortable the closet is, anyhow? I ignored him and instead proceeded to ask everyone about how supportive they thought the class as a whole was. Their answers gave me enough strength to begin to plan my coming out, but I still didn't know my orientation. Skip to the weekend after Halloween, when I finally realized who I really was. Of course I was gay. I felt like I'd just wandered out of a long, dark tunnel. I told my mother my relevation, she proceeded to try to stuff me back into the tunnel. Instead, I planned how to tell my friends about this. I finally got together the nerve last week, and convinced two of them to go on a night walk with me. I was making a hash of telling them when one gazed off into the distance and said "this reminds me of when a friend of mine told me he was gay..." after that it was easy. Both of them were really supportive, and I know now that I can trust them, probably even more than my parents. They understand my journey a whole lot more, that's for sure! The day after I told my other friend on another night walk. Her response? "So? You are you are. I don't care." I love my friends. (*hug*) They are so amazing! Now I just have to figure out how to tell the other 8 kids in my school-including three very religious ones!
Congrats! It's good that your friends are so supportive! I got a similar reaction from my roommate when I told her I was questioning and maybe bi, she just said, "It's okay!" Sometimes you worry more than you need to. I wish you luck with telling others
Yeah, I sure will! Thanks everyone for your great responses. I am so happy right now :icon_bigg I just hope that I can tell everyone else soon...
Wow... This is amazing, woman. At your age I didn't know I was gay... I mean I knew I didn't feel attracted to men... but never really questioned my sexuality. It was "blocked" for me as a teenager. It's cool to hear stories from people who came out so early... That they were really honest to themselves and managed to figure out their orientation so early. I started to seriously question myself when I had a mayor lesbian crush at 23... Now, I'm out and about... Parents can be tricky... It'll take them time to digest it. Both of my parents (especially my mother) don't quite like the idea of my telling other people. It gets on my nerves... I feel like they're trying to put me in a place I don't want to be. That said, I still come out to people... I just can't tell them that.
Thanks I think I just have to get used to my parents... They just don't understand. It's a pity that yours are so against you telling other people. Mine don't like it, but they let me do it.
