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Coming Out to Family!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Silvails52, Nov 25, 2012.

  1. Silvails52

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    After a lot of thought, I decided it was time to come out to my family. I wrote a letter, about a page long to tell them. I'm heading back to college tonight and they're all going to see me off when I get to my ride back. I'm planning on leaving the letter for them to find after they get back. Read it and tell me what you think!

     
  2. Ticklish Fish

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    Good luck... with your family finding it.
    I am assuming your family occasionally go to your room and things? lol.

    and good luck with college! lol.
    I have a friend who goes to Cornell and i am thankful my uni don't force me to take swimming entrance lol. /is 19 and can't swim XD
     
  3. Lewis

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    Love this letter. It really gets to the point and leaves them no room for any doubt. I'm almost tempted to write a similar letter to this, rather than being all overly emotional - I just need to find the strength. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

    Keep us updated. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Silvails52

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    I will. I'm almost certain I'll get something a few minutes after they get home, but I said I would ignore communication until Wednesday. And honestly, I think that they all know anyways and are waiting for me to say something first. My Dad took me out to breakfast and started talking about homosexuality and that ended with him asking if I felt comfortable telling him everything.
     
  5. Rachyl

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    DANG, that is one AWESOME letter. :eusa_clap

    I will keep checking on you to see how everything is going (*hug*)

    Take care of yourself, and good luck :icon_bigg
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there! I think it is a good letter, however I would suggest a couple of changes to the letter you could make, if you wanted to. I have highlighted the changes in red. :slight_smile:

    I wouldn't place any emphasis on the negatives, rather on the positives, which will help your family to understand you, and also realize that you have accepted yourself for who you are.

    Placing the emphasis on the positive and giving your letter a positive tone, I feel that it will make it a lot harder for your family to argue with you. Good luck, hope it goes well. :slight_smile:


     
  7. TallButShort

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    It's simply wonderful. Well done on a very nice letter

    You have done something I can't. I've been meaning to write one myself but just can't.

    But I hope everything works out just fine for you in the end and I'm sure it will.
    Strongs for the road ahead (*hug*)
     
  8. Silvails52

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    Mirko, thank you for the suggestions, but the envelope's sealed and I don't have a chance to reprint the letter. Also, I would like my letter to have my normal tone. Something that I've written. No offense to you, but that is what I've decided to do. Thank you for the ideas, though.
     
  9. I think these would be helpful revisions as well. Oh, and thank you dragon567 for your post. I looked up the sermon you referred to and really felt good after watching it. I sincerely hope everything is going well for you, and hope so for the future as well. Keep us posted!

    (*hug*)
     
  10. Capichino

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    Umm I'm speach less wow hope it goes well in probly late tho
     
  11. All Star

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    Love the letter! Best of luck to you.
     
  12. SparkDT

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    All the best :slight_smile:
     
  13. Ticklish Fish

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    lol, i know what you mean by being it in your tone. but in general, Mirko was talking about writing the letter in more positive light than a mixture or slightly leaning negative tone. You can still do that in your own writing haha.

    just remember next time i guess? lol
     
  14. Silvails52

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    Well, it's too late now. I'm back at college and the letter was probably discovered already. I haven't heard a word from them yet... I did ask to wait until Wednesday, but I was pretty sure they would at least text me. Just going to wait!
     
  15. Mirko

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    You have done what you needed to do and felt is the right time to do.

    Hope things will work out well for you. Distance and time might very well help. (*hug*)
     
  16. Silvails52

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    I got a message over Facebook from my sister. She said that my mom and dad "out of love and respect" not to post anything on Facebook or tell anyone else about being gay. I'm guessing they think that this is a recent event and I told them first. I have a feeling it's Hiroshima over there right now.
     
  17. Mirko

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    Hi there! Maybe give it a few days before you respond. Let them come to you first to talk about it. When you feel the time is right, let them know that they are not the first ones to know.

    Give them time to come to terms with it all. (*hug*)
     
  18. Silvails52

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    Well.... not what I was hoping for... I asked my family to call around 4:30, but I didn't hear anything. I called them at 8:30. My dad picked up, seeming very cheerful. Like it was a social call. But the conversation went on. He said that they're not ready to talk about me being gay yet. They love me. He kept stressing that. My mom came on the line pretty quickly. She seemed a little angry I left a letter instead of saying it face to face. They also said to keep things secret. Nothing on Facebook. They didn't want things getting to the rest of the extended family. My dad asked if I had seen my grandfather angry. I said no. He said you don't want to, and this new could do it. It would kill my grandmother and grandfather. They didn't have much else to say... But right now I feel like crap. Their reaction wasn't what I had hoped for... But they seem to want me to hide for the rest of my life and I can't do that.
     
  19. LiquidSwords

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    I think the best way to come out to someone is in person. I know it's done now so there's no point going over it but I don't think your letter was the best way to do it, it sounded slightly aggressive. Best to tell them in person, cry a lot, then they're bound to not have a problem with it :icon_bigg

    Anyway, it sucks that your parents have reacted this way and you really need to speak to them in person as soon as possible, are you back home for christmas?

    As for grandparents, well that's what I'm most woried about, my grandparents are the nicest people and I love them to bits but I really have no idea how they'd react. I don't want my grandparents to die not knowing, but I don't want to tell them and have them love me less than they do now. They're lovely people but they're from a different age, they were kids during WW2 and I just don't think they'd understand. Hopefully I'm wrong.
     
  20. jimL

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    I partly agree with LiquidSwords......your letter was way too aggressive. I wrote a letter to my parents but took it too them and read it. That was after many edits from myself and others here on EC. Maybe it could have been better. It sounds like your mom took that part personal. But it's done now so you need to be prepared to give them time to process this new information. They deserve it! You have had years to get where you are, and now it's there time. Hopefully they will come around and accept you for who you are. Good luck and let us know how it's going. I wish you the best!