So I've been coming out to more and more friends and not getting bad reactions necessarily. I am however getting very tired of the, " shit bro! No joke? Never saw that coming in a million years." I mean come on I know for a fact I do say some pretty gay things. I came out to a group of friends today two of which where in a conversation where they straight up asked if I was gay and I said yeh. But I still got the big surprise because they thought I was joking before. I feel silly looking back at how scared I was half a year ago. I would say something that I thought would for sure out me and fret over it for days, but now I'm convinced straight people wouldn't know a gay guy if it started making out with them. Is it just my machoness, which is funny because I'm not, or are all straight guys dense as stones?
No, straight people can be quite intelligent. They don't have to think about sexuality much so they're not as hyper-aware of signals that could give off someone's orientation. They're concerned with other things. And even the ones that are aware tend to avoid making assumptions if they can, lest they be wrong.
This happens to me all of the time, I don't know why they find it so surprising. I guess people really believe every gay man is the super camp stereotype. I've had three negative responses; I find it funny how some people like you when they assume you're straight but when they know you're gay it all changes, fucking ironic.
No not all strait guys are that dense. I know because I'm strait and I'm nothing like that. I pretty much agree with this.
I also think that because guys tend to (here, at least--maybe not in more homophobic places) constantly tease and hit on each other in fun. It's the closeted ones that are uncomfortable with it. They might have thought you were just playing the game.
I've had quite a few similar responses myself; most of the people I told thought I was just joking, which hurts a lot considering the courage I mustered and the support I sought. But no, not *all* straight people are that naive/ignorant, but I'd say a pretty good portion of straight guys I know are (though that could be either me being condescending or just that I hang out with the wrong crowd).
Straight people knew my orientation before I did... =O I on the other hand have no "gaydar" because I never assume anyone is gay even if I get the vibe. It's just not my place to assume. Especially with women, because they can "be comfortable with their sexuality" and be straight as an arrow... which really sucks...