The Gay Couple at the Store

About a week before I had decided to come out to my parents (11\29\2012), i was going to the grocery store with my mom. Although I am 20 years old now, she still likes to think of our time together in the store as mother-son time, where we can talk and spend some time together.

We were back in the frozen foods section of the store when mom asked me if I could head over to the refrigerated section to grab a bug of milk. I happily obliged and set forth to the milk isle.

I got over there and grabbed what I was sent to get, and I was beginning to head back to home base (the cart), when something caught my eye.

at the other end of the isle, opposite end of the store as me, there was a couple, holding hands, pushing a shopping cart... Smiling and happy.

I stood there, cold jug of milk in hand, and I stared at them.

I felt a tug at my heart, and a pinch in my stomach. I had this urge to stay put, and to embrace my inner creep, and watch.

It wasn't even that I was being a creep, I was, if anything, envious, and sad that at the age of 20, I was still hiding from who I really was.

The couple at the end of the isle separated, and the one left pushing the cart disappeared around the end corner of the shelving unit. The other went to grab a tub of what I can only speculate was butter.

But as he was retreating to his partner somewhere beyond my line of sight, he paused.

tHen turned to look at me.

At this point, I was mentally distressed. I was looking at what I yearned to have, to feel, but couldn't have. To be a part of a whole with someone I was actually attracted to.

I must have been projecting my thoughts to my facial expressions, because he looked at me, and his face melted into a saddened stair into my eyes.

I begun to tear up as I begun to feel his sadness towards me, that was when I looked away to see where my mom was, and to offer myself a chance to hold back tears from pouring from my now red eyes.

Mom was three isles away, and hadn't a clue as to what I was doing, so I looked back to the guy at the other end of the store.

What I saw then, immediately brought tears back to my eyes, and hope to my heart.

He stood there at the opposite end of the isle, tears in his eyes, and mouthed a phrase of words to me. His lips moves slowly, and quivered. But I was able to read his every word.

He said "its okay. I know."

At this point, tears were freely flowing from my eyes, and I couldn't hold them back. I looked back to find where mom was at one last time, then back at him. Then I mouthedsome words back to him in response.

"Thank you."

I said. Then he looked away, and started rubbing his eyes as he disappeared being the shelving unit.

I took about another minute to collect myself and make myself look more presentable to mom, who thought I was taking my time with finding the right milk.

On checking out our items and paying for our stuff, I looked around to see if I could find the couple again, all I wanted was to see them one last time.

But they were nowhere to be found. But the silent conversation I had with that man, and seeing the amount of love and happiness that they had for one another, is as real and vivid in my mind as it was that day.

I hope that one day, I'll be able to have what the gay couple at the store have.

 

I just felt that this story was a good one to post here in the coming out stories section because that experience really helped to push me into doing what I believe to be the right thing in order to achieve happiness.

 

I remember thinking that afterwards. Thinking that this never happens in real life. I really couldn't believe that, someone whom I have never met, was able to shair the same thought wave with me. It mad, and continues to give me a happy feeling, a feeling that lets me know that there are people out there who know. And can help. Kinda like EC, except in real life.