My story

Hi all. I just joined this site today, on the recommendation of another person I met online. We had been talking about our own stories, and she thought that I should join here, and talk to other teenagers who might need help.

Well, I've sort of always known without actually knowing that I was gay. I was never in the least bit attracted to boys. In fact, when I was a little kid my best friend was a boy, and one day in class he handed me a note asking me to be his girlfriend...I tore it up, handed it back, and told him not to be stupid. It took me until I was 12 or so to realize that this wasn't how every girl felt, haha. When I was 12 I developed a crush on my best female friend of the time. I remember specifically one night lying in bed, imagining kissing her, and the thought came into my head "Huh...maybe I'm a lesbian." It was my first conscious recognition of the fact..but I didn't think of it again until 3 years later, when I had a new best friend and seriously fell in love with this one. It was when I met her that I finally completely I accepted who I am, although I didn't tell many people. 2 years after that, I was at a new school, and I met my first girlfriend. Since I was actually dating somebody, I decided I didn't want to hide it from my parents. I came out to them the day after I started going out with this girl. I didn't expect any problems, because I have a gay uncle who has been very happy in a long term relationship with an older gentleman for almost as long as I have been alive. This wasn't the case, however. That first night was extremely upsetting...my parents were throwing around ignorant generalizations about the gay community - promescuity, alcoholism, etc. My mother had seen my girlfriend and I together earlier that day (we were just cuddling), and told me that she wasn't ready to see any of her children in such intimate positions with anybody...especially with somebody of the same gender. I was extremely upset, and spent the night in the fetal position bawling in my bedroom. I talked to my girlfriend on the phone, and she said that we would get through it together. The next morning, however, she broke up with me...and the day after that, she got back together with her ex. That was painful, of course, but made better by the fact that my parents attitudes seemed to completely change over night. We talked again, and they said that they had been shocked but that was all. We spent the next hour or so laughing about how they really shouldn't have been surprised...I had never, ever expressed any interest in the male population.

I'm now out to everybody - my friends, family, my water polo team - and have been for two years. I haven't lost anybody who matters to me. I had one long term relationship, which ended badly but was completely accepted by my family.

So that is my story. I think the point that I'd like people to take from it, particularly young men and women like myself, is that no matter how bad things start out...there's always a chance that they will get better. We hear a lot of horror stories about coming out, and those are true...people do get thrown out of their houses, lose friends, etc. But that isn't how it goes for everybody. If you are thinking about coming out to your families, perhaps you should *prepare* for the worst...but don't *expect* it. You could be surprised.

 

Yes, my girlfriend did have rather a depressing change of heart. But it all worked out for the best.

 

Thanks for the comment. It broke me when my ex did that, dropped me immediately after I came out. I am over it now, though. I got into my first long term relationship shortly after, and that girl helped me through a lot of things...I helped her through as well. She, however, wasn't comfortable with her sexuality and she was not willing to come out. She was so far in the closet, in fact, that she cheated on me with a guy just to try to keep up a 'straight' image. So that relationship ended as well. I haven't had very good luck with girlfriends, lol

I'm sorry for the late reply, I don't get online too horribly often.

 

Thank you for all your kind comments. Yes, I haven't had much luck with girls. I am staying single for a while now, for a few reasons.

I feel blessed that I had such a good coming out experience. I only hope that my sharing it will help others take the first steps to start living their true lives. It really does feel amazing once you stop hiding who you are.