EC Support for Coming Out

I would never be where I am now if I hadn't found this website over a year ago. I came on here a year ago thinking that I was going to hell because I was bisexual.

Well, now I know that I am not. I also know that I am pangender and gay. I'm out to nearly everybody because of the support that I received on this site.

 

I wouldn't be nearly as comfortable with my sexual orientation as I am today if I hadn't found EC in March. It's certainly sped up the process of my coming out, at least. If it weren't for EC, I'd probably still be counting the number of people to whom I come out, and terrified of any gossip.

 

EC really helped me come out to everyone that i have come out to so far. I wouldnt of been able to do it with the help of EC

 

I am new here, but so far it is wonderful having a place where I can speak openly about being gay without worry. I am looking forward to participating more and more.

 

Though I'm out to a very small number of people in person, being on EC to vent, seek advice and learn about others experiences has and continues to help me understand and accept my sexuality. There's still alot I need to do, but I honestly don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for this site.

_Probably in a very, very frustrated, confused and depressed place..._

 

I was out to a few people before I joined EC, but it has certainly helped me explore myself more and has been a wonderful place for support.

 

Crap, sorry, I do this thing where I read things too fast, so I accidentally clicked "Yes". But EC has most definitely helped me come out to my family, and without this site I don't think I would be this close to accepting myself as I am now.

 

I was more or less "out" about my sexuality before joining, but I think it has helped me to really embrace myself and be proud of me. As for my gender identity, I doubt I would have taken the initial steps to take a queer studies class, talk to the LGBT coordinator, and then get therapy through my university had I not found this site. Without it I doubt I would be transitioning currently.

On a side note, this is just out of curiosity, but if you have a gender identity outside of the gender binary, is it really appropriate to say gay since you don't identify as male yourself? This is just something I've wondered about for a while. Sorry for showing my ignorance on non-binary identities.

edit: or female for that matter. This is my point exactly. Without identifying as one of the binary genders, its unclear which gender "gay" means you are attracted to.

 

The reason I joined EC was because I was very closeted and needed some help and support in coming out. I'm out to some friends now and don't hide "the gay" anymore. So yeah, it has really helped me. Thank you all (&&&)

 

I'm not out.... (but I'm leaning that way)

Been struggling with this SO much in my life. Until I found this forum, never shared any of this with anyone, ever.

It's great -- well, not "it", but every one of you who has read, commented, offered support to me and all of you who have shared your deeply personal life stories are great.

Fantastic, supportive, open, caring community.

 

I VOTED THE WRONG ANSWER. >_< I meant to vote for the first one...

But yeah, EC has definitely helped me with becoming more comfortable in my own skin. I've even accidentally come out to someone who previously thought I was straight!

 

EC has helped me a lot, reading the different stories of people coming out to their parents, and hearing of people's parents being supportive when it was thought they wouldn't be. Those stories really helped me to finally come out to my parents. I also think that me being as comfortable as I am with being gay has a lot to do with EC because I know that there are people who feel the exact same way I do.

 

I go with gay because I cannot say gynsecual...lol. It's a bit of a tongue twister for me. Plus, I came out as gay before I realized my gender identity. So, most people know me as being pangender and gay. I make it clear that I like women when I tell people though.

 

I voted that EC hasn't really helped, mostly because I feel that I am pretty well out anyway, and I already understand the methodology of coming out. Not a slight to the community or administrators.

 

I would have never told anybody if I didn't find EC. I remember up until I found this site that I was contemplating never telling anybody. Now pretty much more than 10 people know (some close friends and randomers).

 

EC helped me when I was an absolute panicking mess, even though I was just lurking, and I am certain the support I've gotten here has greatly influenced my comings out. You guys rock!

Androphilic and gynephilic ar sometimes used.

 

In mid-April I got internet at home and finally had a safe place to look up the word transgender. Sure enough, my problems were solved...as in, I found out what made me seem so weird and too boyish to everybody. I knew they were wrong when they had accused me of being a lesbian, but I also knew I dreamed of dating girls...just as a guy, you know, normal! Right? But I had been keeping the dark scary secret for decades, thinking its gotta be related to gayness, and church says its wrong, so I am really a pervert, I am scary, I am going to jail or at least will be hated.

I had just before this, last year this time actually, to begin the questioning of my sexuality...I allowed myself the right to ask.

I found right after the definition, in April, the next link, somebody's post on transgender, but I could not reply without getting a user name on EC. DANG! So I created a name I had thought rep my deafness, which I had to change cuz a simple google search found me instantly. DNB was a later name.

I began reading what other ftm said, it was all my own life on display. So I tried to not let on if I was a male or female, nobody knew if i were FTM or MTF. I got a lot better idea what others thought that way, no prejudgement where i stood, and then both gay men and lesbians replied to some posts that they related to their own experiences. I miss that at times. But eventually I felt safe to say yeah i am FTM.

I also found some really good supportive friends here who are MTF, Gay, Lesbian, and Queer, who have friended me on FB, some who no longer are on EC. I found some other Christians here hurting too, and we can console each other...but sadly some EC staff in past I feel do not undy Christian Queers and the hostility we get from Atheist Queers who have in past hated on us. A response that I got in a PM from them was strange, it let me down, gave me fear of hopelessness, as it seemed they didn't want to hear from me any complaints if I get harassed or have my faith and thought and beliefs personally attacked and told I'm illogical and emotional and unscientific. It also was scary that a PM abt one of those cases to a person working for EC was then posted on that thread by him for the bully to laugh at me. The bully also assumed the other atheist whose thread it was on agreed with him in all his verbal attacks. In reality, I made a friend in that gay man who said it was very wrong to attack me, and we chat on FB now. It kept me from posting here for several months, which is a real shame.

So because of EC existing I was able to make Queer friends, and support others and get help for myself in coming out. But I don't feel because of those two betrayals that I fully feel safe on EC, that I can have a mod or admin protect me or other Christians from verbal bullying because they don't see it or don't care or maybe like it? IDK, but I had asked for a poster to print so Christians who were too scared to question could come to EC for advice...and got the other letter instead of a reply.

So I will never ever advise any Christian to come here cuz I don't think it would neccarily be a Safe Place if you are suicidal and a Believer...I fear some may have been hurt instead and will stay in or just shoot themselves. And we really needed this place to be safe for all. Too bad.

 

So glad that there is a forum like EC around. Hope it stays around forever for others who are struggling see and get the same advice.