Hey all, It's been awhile since I have posted anything. I am staying with a friend in West Texas for a few weeks. Her house is solar so I haven't been on the internet too much since it's only really good power during daylight hours. So, my most recent thread was coming out to my parents: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/75925-out-my-parents.html Which went better than I had hoped, but we haven't really discussed it since then. They went to Seattle for a week after that and I almost immediately left for Texas on their return. I wanted to give them space and processing time, but we were still in touch by phone. I wasn't sure if they were actually processing it though. I figured it would get swept under the rug like it had 10 years ago, so I followed up on it with my Dad last night. He has been pretty neutral about it, his stance is just that it was new information and that it's just a part of who I am. I like that, but I was concerned that even though he hadn't been negative about it, he wasn't real positive about it either. Granted, I didn't expect this right away, and I was willing to give him some time and space to get through it in his own way. He did mention that, if I brought a guy home, I couldn't cuddle with him on the couch or sleep in the same room. I would be offended, but the same rules have applied in regards to whether I brought a girl home as well. It's just my parents and the rules of their household. So, that makes sense. But he hadn't said much else. So I brought it up, like I said, last night. I was feeling a little down about it; I didn't want life to return to the way it was before. It could be similar, sure, but I just didn't want to be ignored. My Dad said that, not only is he coming to terms with it, but he has been discussing it with his guy friends over the past week. The only concern that one of his most conservative friends voiced was over the fact that I was now an atheist; me being Bi didn't phase him. But, that exchange was not what prompted me to write this thread... Dad also told me that he was talking with one of his most liberal friends about it and the friend's remark was one that we have all heard before: "Isn't Bi just something that gay guys say when they are too afraid to come out fully?" I sighed when I heard this, and was about to launch into a tirade when Dad cut me off saying: "Hold on, I haven't finished". He then detailed to me exactly what he told the friend, about the Kinsey Scale, and about orientation being a continuum. He said that I firmly believed (and I do) that I was right in the middle of the scale and that the only reason that he (the friend) may have a hard time understanding that, is because he is coming from the view that sexuality is polarized. I was grinning ear to ear at this point, I even teared up a little, but then Dad sealed the deal with this gem: I don't know why he (the friend) doesn't get it, because I highly doubt that he's a "Kinsey 1" himself... Ha! So, long story short, the friend apologized and said that the continuum made a lot of sense now that my Dad explained it to him. Wow. So, yeah, I am very proud of my father. He is not only well on his way to accepting my sexuality, but he is already defending me to his friends. How great is that? Just had to share, -The Seeker
I'm really happy for you, not just how far your father has come in accepting your sexuality, but showing just how much he cares by educating others as well. That's truly awesome.
That sounds great! It makes me happy when I hear stories like this one, and gives me hope in regards to my parents views on my orientation..
Wow, that's really amazing! I'm glad that this journey is still going well. In our discussions, I remember you saying that the previous generation seems to have a problem with the notion of sexuality continuum. I had a little taste of this yet again this past week. There was a little family problem that happened in the past week or so. Essentially, through various channels, my dad outed me to several people, including my brother. This came back to my mom, and she got pissed. But at any rate, she said, "your dad told your brother about your sexuality. He said that if you're gay, or bi or whatever that's fine, and he wants to talk to you. What should I say to him?..." She was not relating his words. The "or bi or whatever..." came from her. Both my mom and dad have been told this. My mom has had to be told this twice. But she still seems to think that bisexuality is reducible to "gay." At any rate, I'm really glad that your dad understands and actually defends you to other people who don't understand. It sounds like you may have a real foot in the door with your mother too. How is she handling this, incidentally?
That is absolutely wonderful news! I am so glad to hear it. It all sounds really promising, and I'm quite proud of your dad as well. That's good parenting, right there. :]
Thanks guys! I didn't expect any of this to go as well as it has. I hope the same holds true for those of you who are in the process of coming out...
