and it couldn't have gone better. I honestly did not expect it to go as well as it did. I over thought some of the homophobic things they said in the past. I really should have given them more credit. Two nights ago, I told them after dinner. I was so scared... My dad congratulated me for having the courage to come out. He still want's (needs) me to work with him in the family construction business, so I am good job wise. He is the only person that I came out to that had a little suspicion. I am a sensitive person now, and was way oversensitive as a kid. That gave him a little reason to suspect, and I guess that makes sense. He asked how I wanted things to change between us, and we all agreed that we wanted nothing to change. If anything, we want things to get better. My mom was completely taken off guard. Very surprised, but not angry. She didn't even get all that emotional. I was the most emotional one at the table. I think she never expected it because her entire exposure to gay people is from TV. She thinks that we are all flamboyant and stuff, and I'm not really like that. She said that she probably would have reacted worse if I had told her earlier. She has come a long way. She said that she wasn't quite ready to meet the boyfriend yet (not that I have one anyways). It will take some time to fully settle in with her, but she is OK with it and loves me. That being said, I let this go on too long. Staying in the closet took a tole on me. I became self hating and self destructive. I did stupid and regretful things. I can see so clearly now how that worried and upset my family. My dad told me that not coming out and continuing that behavior would have messed up our relationship. I think that they appreciated the explanation, but it is not an excuse for how I've acted in the past. I'm better than that... I can sit here and blame so many different things for turning me into a total closet case. My psycho religious upbringing, intolerant society, homophobic friends and family, etc. Ultimately, it all came down to me. There were times I could have safely started this process earlier in my life, but for reasons I don't yet understand, I chose self destruction. I'm exhausted from the struggle, and it's good to have finally put that phase of my life to an end. I don't really know the future holds for me, but for the first time, I'm optimistic. I still have my job with my dad, supportive friends and family, a new living situation with an accepting roommate, and a gay affirming church to go to. Things are finally getting better. I thank everybody here at EC for the advice and support. You have all been a great help to me.
You did a brave thing, and it doesn't matter what's in the past - you've accepted yourself, your family has accepted you for who you are, and I'll hazard a guess and say the same is probably (going to be) true of your friends - that's pretty awesome. Congratulations, and I only wish I was as strong as you .
I hope that I'm over thinking things and hope that my coming out is similar to yours. Congratulations and I hope you make up for all those lost years you spent in the closet! Have fun
Thank you all. I'm sure the friends who do not yet know will accept me. I can't put into words what a relief it has been to come out. All the self loathing, the shame and embarrassment. Those things are finally out of my life, out of my mind. I look back at myself and fully realize how messed up I was. I don't know how I made it this far. I was in such a dark place, but it's finally over. At last, I can move forward. Coming out has given me a new lease on life. The past is in the past. For the first time in years, the future seems bright. For once in my life, I did the right thing...
