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Are there people who never ever come out their entire lives?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by teluphone, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. teluphone

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    And by never coming out i mean not tell a single soul. I honestly find it so hard to come out to come out to anyone as i constantly have this nagging feeling that a negative reaction from even a single person would ruin me for life emotionally and psychologically even though i know Coming Out is a personal thing and i should really do it in my own time. But the constant waiting and uncertainty of the right time really eats you up inside
     
  2. shy

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    technically nobody is actually able to answer this question with "yes" since a) he/she had to be gay and by answering would come out here (like a first effort) b) how should you know what's gonna happen in the future? The only people who could tell that they never came out to anyone are kinda dead.

    as to your feelings: from personal experience I can say that you first have to accept your sexuality up to some level before you come out to anyone. And then, when the moment feels right, you got some person you trust and you can make up for the courage, you'll eventually tell him/her. Don't press yourself to anything, this is your intimacy and you're to share or to "not share" with whomever you feel comfortable with.
     
  3. teluphone

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    well the thing is its kinda difficult to see how i should progress to accepting my sexuality for someone who has been kinda of an introverted for past 15 years when i can't even maintain a proper relationship on a friendship level and i've always had a problem in trusting anyone seeing as i've had my fair share of the sting of betrayal and backstabbing (Man, Woman, Children, Straight, Gay, Race, i mean anyone) though i've made some progress these past few months but still can't help feeling something bad might happen with those friendship.

    I feel that inability to have a proper friendship is because of my sexuality and inability to accept who i really only facilitate my real rooted fear of dying alone
     
  4. Pat

    Pat
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    Are their people in prison for all of their adult lives? Yes. So this would be the same. Do you have any idea how many married men are cheating with the same sex and have been gay for years? lol. Lots of people go against the grain.
     
  5. LiquidSwords

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    I'd imagine that there are a fair few people who die without ever having told anyone.

    My Dad's cousin died last year and I always thought he was gay. He was the nicest bloke, good looking and pretty loaded aswell yet he never had a serious relationship. He also was a really sensitive and caring sort of guy, and he just managed to give me the impression he was gay. Other family members always used to suspect and talk about it as well, I'd honestly be surprised if he wasn't gay.

    He died aged about 50 and it makes me sad to think he was probably gay but not comfortable telling anyone let alone starting a relationship. Made me think I should stop wasting my life and start telling people and moving forward.
     
  6. SparkDT

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    I'm sure there are many people that go through their whole life without telling someone, I never thought I would but it's so rewarding to actually be true to yourself and do it.

    With that being said you have to find the right time when you're ready and not just do it on impulse.
     
  7. Ticklish Fish

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    LOL. awkward moment when answering this post would break what the OP intended...

    Oh paradox paradox (right word right?)
     
  8. SomeNights

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    I've been in and out of the closet (yes it's possible) to various people, but in the last 6 months I've been WAY more open about it and I tell you it is VERY relieving to be myself around my friends and not always questioning my behavior, if they know, if they don't know, if I'm giving it away etc...

    ....Plus I love the reaction that I get from my straight friends when I start talking about cute guys XD
     
    #8 SomeNights, Dec 14, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2012
  9. teluphone

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    LiquidSwords I certainly wished I stopped wasting my life an start taking action for once to make things right