Coming out...to my girlfriend(kind of lengthy)

I'm 23 years old and have been dating/living with a girl for a year and a half now. She's an incredible person and I love her very much. Problem was that I wasn't attracted to her sexually, and no matter how much I lied to myself that wasn't going to change.
I knew from a very young age that I was attracted to guys. Sadly I was raised in small town Indiana..not the most accepting place for a gay kid to grow up. So, of course once I knew what these feelings I was having meant, I immediately went to work making sure no one would ever find out my secret.
A little over 2 years ago I got a new manager at my job. She was such an amazing girl, (I could go on about why she is so amazing but for the sake of length I won't, because it would be a very long list) we almost immediately became friends. 7 months later or so we were dating, a month or two after that we were living together. It all happened so fast, and I knew it was too fast, but I didn't care. I thought, for the first time, maybe I was wrong. Perhaps I wasn't gay, I really had just been confused.
About a year after moving in together I began to get really depressed and slightly withdrawn socially. I'd put myself in a bad position and I knew it. I finally accepted that I was gay and it scared me more than ever before. I was scared because the first person that I truely cared about outside my family, who had gotten me to be comfortable with
myself was going to be hurt by the truth more than anyone else.
I stressed for months about how I was going to tell her and never came up with a solution. Then, a week ago, we went to the gay bar in a neighboring city to see her friend sing in the drag show. I didn't drive that night so, considering my predicament, I got absolutely wasted. We stayed out drinking with friends until the sun was almost up, in fact I dont remember the last hour before us getting home. I asked her to come back to our bedroom and asked her to sit down on the bed. She could tell something was wrong and asked me what was up. The exact details are hazy, due to alcohol and adrenaline, but I just came out and said it. She cried, I cried...from what I remember, it was an absolute mess. I remember apologizing profusely and saying that I'd never meant to hurt her but I felt I owed it to her to be honest about it.
Last night was the first night she's slept at out apartment since I came out and I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life. I sat on one couch, she on the other and watched tv in silence for 3 hours before she fell asleep in the living room. I still haven't slept because, much like the nigh I told her, I feel awful. She's hurt and it's completely my fault. She's told me she's not mad at me, she's just sad. I know that with time her pain will subside and I can only hope that we can salvage a friendship out of it. I can't imagine losing her all together, she changed my life, she made me comfortable with who I am. Without her I would still be so far in the closet I might have never found my way out.

Since this I've told a couple close female friends, one of my sisters and my mom. All their reactions were what I'd sort of expected "I thought so" or "so what. Beer?" I just don't think I'm going to be able to move forward with my coming out until I know, one way or the other, that my ex and I will, maybe, be able to stay friends. She means too much to me to lose her from my life.

 

Thanks. The night I came out to her I said multiple times that I couldn't bear the thought of losing her and she said I wouldn't. Its just that now I don't know if she was saying that to calm me down because I was so upset or if she actually meant it.