And my third.

When I told my first two stories, I said that I didn't feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders like I was hoping and someone that responded to my stories said "by the third and fourth person, you'll start to get that feeling."

I would like to apologize to that person. I didn't believe you, but tonight I told my third person and it really felt fantastic. This is the first of the three that wanted to sit and talk about it.

Let me say that this was the best New Years I've ever had. We went to see Louie CK in Baltimore and he ran the stand up an extra 30 minutes just so he could ring in the new year with us. Then my buddy and I met some friends at a bar and had a great time.

Most importantly, though, my friend told me that me coming out to him meant more to him than it did me because of how he'd been down on himself a lot lately and that it's nice to see that other people battle with personal demons too.

That's it, really.

Happy New Year.

 

You still feel frustrated because you're not getting the satisfaction of getting that weight lifted?

My buddy and I were on our way up to Baltimore, which from our house takes about an hour and a half. I've been meaning to tell this friend, but was just waiting for the right time. It's all about timing. He's younger and looks up to me so when he was telling me about how his self worth was low, I went ahead and shared that secret with him. I told him how much of a battle it has been and how I used to feel like shit. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm sure others see me as a problem-free and, while that's true for the most part, I think it was nice for him to know that I too struggle.

Hearing me in a vulnerable state wasn't something he was used to. I think we look at people sometimes and make ourselves believe that they must have perfect lives and we wish we could be more like them. When we find out that things aren't so perfect, it humanizes everyone included.

I think it helped too that Louie's stand up kind of touched on self image problems. It was on the way home he told me that it meant a lot to him that I told him. It was a win-win for me.

 

Haha. Thanks Ethan.

I really won all the way around last night. It was easily my favorite New Years.

I know you're a Louie fan. Do me a favor and don't not see him.

 

^ Hey buddy. Thanks. You're a good friend on here.

 

^ Thanks bud. I look forward to it. Right now, though, I am having fun with only having a few people in on this. It'll be a little while.

 

^ Agreed. So far with each individual, it seems to be process.

I see you're out to two friends. How's that going for you?

 

^ Thanks Mirko. You always know what to say and say it well.

 

Thanks Praetor.

How bout you, bud? Made any progress yet? Feel free to PM me.

 

My first and second go around were good, but not fantastic like this third one was. I think it's how you feel about the person to whom you tell. Obviously you want everyone to respond positively, but I think if my first person took it poorly, I wouldn't have been as devastated as if my third person had taken it poorly.

I don't know of I chose them on purpose that way, or not.

I do know that for now, I'm telling people that I am confident will accept it. I'm building my support group basically. I anticipate by 2014 that I'll be all out.

Slow and low, baby. Slow and low.