This is my first time on this site. I'm 16, and I just came out to my mother. She's not religious or homophobic but when I told her she was very shocked and can't believe it. She kept asking me what makes me think that I'm gay. She said she couldn't accept it mainly because we're Indians and we live in South-East Asia. Then she told me not to give up hope to get out of homosexuality.:tears: I told her to get more knowledge about homosexuality and maybe talk to a few people online. She says that she will get more knowledge and that talking to people won't help her because she needs another Asian(with Eastern culture) to talk to. Basically, I think she's concern about what our extended family will think. I'm not sure to be sad or relieved at here reaction. What can I say to her? Advice please. :help:
i totally understand how you feel, knowing my parents would never accept me as gay devastated me but at the same time relieved me as i now somewhat know the outcome if i tried to come out to them (they have become ever so overbearing about hoping i would get out of homosexuality). It could be your mother just needs a little more time to understand you are the exact same person as you were before you came out.
You already made the first step in telling her but now she has to come in terms with your sexuality although it sounds like she's accepting to some degree which means there's hope for her still.
Thanks for replying guys. teluphone, you live in Singapore so I think you know what it feels like. Guess I'll just have to wait. Good luck to you too. (*hug*)
Hi, Adrian. First, welcome to EC! Second... remember that you've been wrestling with this knowledge for years. Your mom for only a very short while. It took you some time to accept yourself as you are, and it will likewise take her some time. There are 5 stages everyone goes through when they are coming to terms with a loss (in this case, loss of her perception of you as straight denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. It can take 5 minutes or 5 months or longer for people to go through them, and it's not uncommon for people to move back and forth through the stages. And, as others have said, the cultural issues in your country don't make it any easier. So... stick around here, try to be patient, and talk to us about what's going on. She sounds like a wonderful person and honestly, her first response was more positive than a lot I've heard, so I think there's a lot of hope that she'll come around and be fully accepting and loving of who you are
