Facebook: The Final Stage

So, I just did it. I posted a fairly comprehensive summary of my situation on Facebook for everybody to see. I literally just did it now, so I don't know for sure what the responses and fallout from this are going to be like, but deep down, I think it's going to be okay. I'm excited because this is more or less the final stage of my coming out. It's out there now and I'm more or less done with the sitting down and meeting with people portion of coming out. At this point, for better or worse, I can start to really be me. My friends, family, and coworkers know now, and at this point I can kind of just let others figure it out on their own as they get to know me.

It feels really good, and I'll let you know how the responses go

 

Thank you. I just wanted to let everyone know that so far its going very well on Facebook. So far everybody has been very kind and supportive I feel really good about having done this.

 

Thank you. I continue to receive support today.

Joey: When I'm at my computer again, I'll post here exactly what I posted so you can read it. I've been told it was well put together

Andmow: it saves questions later when my sex and profile pic drastically change on Facebook. For me it was a step I had to take. Does everyone need to? Certainly not. It's an individual call.

Thanks again to everybody

 

So, I had a request to show the posting that I put up on Facebook. As many of you who use FB know, status updates are limited to 4 or 500 characters which wasn't going to be nearly enough to get my point across. So, I did a brief little coming out in the actual status update, and then used the first comment space to go into further depth.

Here's the update:

So, I suppose it's time. Many of you have noticed and commented on the fact that I've been teasing something for the last month or so. This was done in an effort to draw as many of my friends to my page today so that I can get something out in the open. Hopefully its worked and all of you will peruse this over the next day or so. With that, here it is. I've known all of my life that something was different about me, and I've known for the last 10 or 20 years exactly what that is. I'm Transgender, physically male but mentally female. Please read the first comment for more information:

And here is the first comment space, where I went into depth:

There are physical and chemical differences in the male and female brains. Studies have been done over the last years that show that individuals who fall into the transgender category have a brain structure that falls much more closely in line with the gender they identify with, and not their physical sex. A physical male (me for example) who identifies as transgender has a physical and chemical set up in the brain that aligns more with the female brain. The same is true in reverse for a physical female who falls into this category.

I won’t bore you with the entire sad and depressing story of my life because quite frankly it’s not that interesting, but more importantly I want to go to sleep soon. Suffice it to say that on some level, I’ve always known. I’ve known some of you for a long time, most of my life in fact and even back in grade school and earlier, although I didn’t totally understand it, I knew I was different, that I didn’t fit in. So, I did what many in that position would do. I repressed it as hard as I possibly could, and began to pretend that everything was normal and fine. And I did it very well. There’s not a person who’s found about this in the last few months who hasn’t been surprised. I guess maybe I should have gone into acting. The repression led to depression though. I was severely depressed over the disconnect I felt with the rest of the world. From my mid-teens to early twenties, though I never tried to act on them I regularly thought about suicide as a final solution to deal with the pain I was feeling. From there, it slid into a general apathy toward life. I honestly didn’t care whether I lived or died.

A few months ago something happened to bring these feelings back to the surface again, and this time I decided to act on those feelings. I started seeing a therapist who specializes in gender and my attitude and outlook on life has completely turned around. I knew long, long before I started seeing somebody that there was only really one option for me if I ever wanted to live a happy life, and thanks to the help of my therapist, I’m taking steps toward that end. Because it’s really a physical condition, no amount of counseling is ever going to make me feel “male”. Thus, as I’ve known for a long time I would have to, I’m going to begin transitioning from male to female in the very near future. Maybe you can see why I’ve been afraid for so long, why I’ve kept this under wraps. I’ve been scared of what my friends and family might think, what the world might think. Those fears are gone now though. My friends and family are completely behind me and I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt. I can take whatever the world might throw at me.

I’m looking forward to the journey ahead of me. I’m not only doing this because I feel it’s my only real chance. I’m doing this because I want to. It feels good and it feels right to be taking the steps that I’m taking. Good and bad alike that’s bound to come my way on this road, I’m ready. Honestly, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve found reserves of strength and courage that I didn’t even know I had and I’m more determined than I’ve ever been in my life. The people who know me, who’ve seen me these past few months have told me they can see the difference in me. I also want to make it clear that I love myself for the first time in my life. I’ve finally accepted who I am, and I’m proud of that person.

I know this is a lot to take in, and I know there are people in this world that can’t handle or accept something like this. I like to think that I’ve chosen the people in my life wisely and that most, if not all of you will be happy for me after reading this, and excited for the fact that I’m in such a good place. I like to think that none of you are the type to hate, or cut me down for something because you may not understand it. Hopefully this doesn’t have to be said (and I don’t think it does because I know all of you) but understand this. I will not hide anymore, and I will not be backed into a corner, or bullied or cut down. I value the friendship of everybody on my friend list, but if this is something you cannot handle, please leave. Disparaging or hateful remarks or comments will get you immediately cut from my list because I don’t need that right now, and I’m not going to put up with it. If this is too much, and you leave my list quietly of your own accord, my door is always open. This takes a while to process and it’s a lot at first. If you need to distance yourself from it for a bit, and do so in a respectful and discreet matter, than you will be welcomed back to my friend circle should you eventually change your mind.

I’m happy to answer any questions that anybody might have. I’m not shy or timid about this in the least, so if there is anything on your mind please ask. I know this has been a somewhat long post and I just want to appreciate all of you who read through it. It means a lot to me. Over the next year things on Facebook, my name and such, will be changing so don’t be alarmed. Since I’m reasonably sure I can count on the lot of you, I just want to thank you in advance for your support. I have no allusions about this being an easy path, but the worthwhile things in life are never the easy things.

I think that Joey wanted to see some of the responses as well, so here are a couple of them, slightly edited to remove names and pertinent information:

"I don't think you're as good an actor as you thing....I've suspected for quite some time but I thought you might be gay not transgender. Whatever you are I hope you're happy and that you receive a lot of acceptance!"

"We love you!! Im just so overjoyed for you to be YOU!!"

"The irony here is that it took a crazy amount of balls to post this! I know we arent great friends as we only worked together for abit but it none the less makes me happy to read this. Ive had a similar problem being a gay man who doesnt look or act like it. I always thought you where pretty cool dude (wouldnt have played my now favorite game series mass effect if it wasnt for your recomendation), the only thing that has changed is that now your pretty cool chick! Good luck, i think you might have an easier time then you think given your great support system."

"Hugs! I applaud you for your courage & wish you much happiness on your journey ahead!"

"Wow!! You really had me fooled man. I am proud of you that was amazing you are a great writer and I think that sometime after all the dust has settled you should write all this down. Maybe it would be helpful for you to write it out in the process, and maybe in the future your amazing story could help others like you. And again wow! you have my support all the way."

So, that's basically how things went. It's been a couple days now and I'm still receiving sporadic responses from stragglers. There are a few people on my friend list who I know have seen it by now, but haven't responded even though I'm positive they have an opinion. I like to think that, since they're still on my list and haven't broken off, they're just taking their time to process what I said.

On another note, I was at my older sister's the other day, and she told me that she'd been getting phone calls from people who aren't even on my list who had heard about it. She told me there hadn't been any negativity, just curiosity that that I'd apparently caused quite the stir. :lol:

Anyway, I hope others find my post useful, or at least enjoy reading it.