How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now?

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

My parents were surprisingly supportive, but we haven't talked about it since. That was seven months ago, I think they misread my letter. They came upstairs RIGHT after they read it (fast) while I was trying to sleep. And I'm crazy when I'm sleeping. I specifically asked in the letter to give me time first, and they didn't. I meant let me sleep before confronting me about it, like when I came downstairs. Not burst into my room immediately after while I'm freaking out trying to sleep. I guess they think I don't want them to talk about it now. And it's awkward.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

^This.

My parents took it well, they said they still loved me and accept me etc. But we never talk about it. They stopped asking me if I liked any of my female friends or 'the hot chick on TV' and stuff like that, and now they just say nothing. I think the only time my Mum has said anything to do with my sexuality in the last 3 years was at a reunion when she said 'Blake I think my friend's son is gay. Has he.. You know.. Told you anything?' I was like 'Mum I don't even know who he is' and she was like 'Oh.. Well I thought you might have sensed him or something' -___- I felt like saying 'Im gay, not psychic!' lol

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

same...seems this is not too uncommon then. I guess my mom doesn't talk to my brother about being straight though so I can see why we don't talk about it. I did tell my mom who the girl I have a crush on is, but I still think they would be a little weirded out if I brought a girl home. I almost feel like since we haven't talked about it in months that they've either forgotten about it or don't believe me.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

My parents have an insane amount of LGBT friends and are very supportive of the community as a whole, so I knew they'd be fine with my sexuality. I came out to them about 16 months ago, and we've all been totally open about it since then. The only thing they said at the time was "OK. Does your girlfriend want to come for Thanksgiving?" My step-mom even tries to play wing-man for me (and winds up just embarrassing the hell out of me).

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

i am trying to give a lot of clues to my mom, and she even undy the word transgender which floored me...not even a lot of gays know it. So far mom is fine me saying i may go by David and will dress as a man, and we discussed how i look more boy if i were a man she said my jaw would be more square...although my grandpa's brothers some had jaws more narrow than mine. but she says daughter a lot and her/she...i cringe. i will I've her credit as she is a Christian and she didn't hate me or fear me, but gee mom please get it!

i think it is like white elephant in the room, if we don't talk abt it she can play I'm her girl. she talked abt how she thinks if i marry and bring a deaf man home....blah blah...so it is either a deaf man who can't speak or it is never marry? really?

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

If I remember correctly, I came out to one of my older sister's first. She is really supportive. Though I have to admit that she did cry. And not because she is a gay hater, she's accepting; she cried because she's worried about what I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life, which is completely understandable, even I am a bit worried. I told my mother second, which I wrote her a letter, but at the time, I wrote that I was bisexual rather than gay because I wasn't ready to commit to admitting I was full on gay and I thought bisexual sounded much better because at least then I would still be attracted to girls, which I am not, at all. She told me she always knew and from then on out, it seemed like she accepted me and I even remember once how at the dinner table, I got up to get a drink and my father was sitting there with her and something on the news must have came up about gay marriage, because my mother said something along the lines, "If two guys want to get married, good for them." It made me feel really good knowing my mother felt that way. It also made me feel good to know I had her on my side. She never mentions it or talks about it but for the last year, it seems as if she doesn't want to accept it to be honest. Not sure if I can remember what has made me think that, but I just know that's how she feels and for some reason she doesn't agree with gay marriage now which confuses me as to why she acted ok with it before so I just try to ignore her. Maybe she'll come around to it again, who knows. I can openly talk about it with my sister and her boyfriend though. My dad who I think is a closeted homophobic because of some of his comments about a former lesbian friend (who now is engaged to a guy, what the heck?). So I do not think I will be telling him anytime soon. My older brother and other older sister do not know. And I really do not plan on coming out anytime soon.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

Well when I was younger and thought I was bi I didn't exactly get a chance to come out to my mom. Her and her boyfriend had met me in town to drop off some money for me and I was with a big group of my friends (including this girl I ended up dating for a short period of time). The girl was like all over me and kept kissing me and stuff and of course my friends didn't care but I told her to wait with everyone else when I went up to the car to get money from my mom but she came up behind me and kissed me right in front of my mom and her boyfriend. The color in my mom's face completely drained and she started screaming "cut that lesbian shit out in public! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I have to work in this town!" So I was basically thrown out of the closet to my mom. After some time went by we just didn't talk about it but she had an issue if I was too close to any girl in public.

Once I realized I was gay I hid it from her for a long time because she had believed it was a "phase" and that I would end up with a man. Luckily around that time someone she was friends with in high school had reconnected with her and he is openly gay and now her best friend so I figured it would be easier to come out. Now I had been kinda upset for a while and was having a hard time accepting I was gay so I was moping around and she finally got sick of it and started yelling at me for crying and asked me "what the fuck my problem was" so I kinda just blurted it out and for first time my mother was speechless. It's not really discussed but after a few months of my girlfriend and I dating my mom's friend told me I should tell my mom that I was in a relationship with my girlfriend (who was my best friend for a while before we started dating and my mom knew her already). To that she didn't really say anything but she still likes my girlfriend and she's the only girl I've introduced to my mom. It's still pretty much something we don't talk about and anytime my girlfriend hugs me or sits too close to me she either walks out of the room or tells my girlfriend to "stop hanging all over me". And anytime my girlfriend and I have a fight my mom yells at me and tells me to break up with her. Other than that it is the unspoken topic. She is more accepting of her best friend than she is of me. It's kinda funny tho because she's still in like denial that I'm really gay even though my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now (which has been my longest relationship).

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

My dad didn't say anything. My mom gently suggested I might want to see a psychiatrist (she must think there are appropriate meds or something, heehee). Neither one of them ever brought it up again. They know. That's enough to make me happy. I mean, after a certain age, you reach this place of mutual respect I think, where you just love and respect even those things you can't accept in each other.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

my family has been very supportive and completely accepting of my partner. i actually thought my father might disown me because he's catholic and generally very conservative, but the first thing he said was that i'm his daughter and he loves me no matter what, and just wants me to be happy.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

My family have come to a point where they accept that I am who I am, but will not acknowledge female partners or allow for discussion indicating that I'm not the straightest of girls. Considering their general attitude towards homosexuality I think this is an excellent compromise for now. I would have liked complete acceptance and no barrier to bringing partners home to meet them, but I'll take it.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

I had to come out to my parents twice.

The first time i did it. Both were very supportive and said they still and would always love me. But for some reason this conversation seemed to never exist a week later.

I came out a second time out of a percieved sense of necessity when my mother started telling me to get a girlfriend. My mother and father reacted the same way again but this time my mother asked me if i was sure, asked if i needed to see a therapist, and occasionally asks me "what if u saw a very attractive woman who was madly in love with u, would u go out with her" to which i always ask her if she would go out with that same woman. My father has done what he did the first time i came out to him, he has managed to steer clear from the topic and im reluctant to bring it up with him. Of course im grateful for my parents, but it does get tedious when my mother doesnt understand my sexual orientation. She thinks its a phase, she says i may change, she thinks i may still meet a Miss Universe that is madly in love with me... she wishes alot for me; but it doesnt matter cause i kno shes only wishing these things for me is because she luvs me and doesnt want to see me live a "hard" life in a society that isnt completely accepting of the LGBT community.

Having grandchildren is a big thing in my culture and i joke with my mother occasionally by just saying "awww... no grandkids" but ither than that my mother asks me questions occasionally of how i came to kno im gay but i have still yet to talk to my father about it.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

With me, it was more a matter of just wanting my parents to know. I don't care that we don't talk about my sex life. (or lack there of...) In fact, I'm glad we don't talk about it. I think that I'm not alone in saying that it would be weird to talk to your parents about sex in general.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

I came out to my mom right before I went to college. I told her at 1:11 am. I came out to her as bi. The only thing that she did was sigh. At first, I thought that it was a bad reaction. I tried to keep LGBT stuff out of my conversations with her. I would tell her that I was going to meetings or something like that.

My mom finally started talking about my sexuality. In fact, she got a bit too talkative about it..lol. She told my dad (which I told her she could tell.) She then told a ton of people that she worked with. She even told my grandparents.

I was glad that she started talking though. It gave me the confidence to talk about my sexuality with her.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

Yeah, this. My mom was really supportive, my dad I'm not sure, he didn't really say anything, but I guess that's better than an actual negative reaction.
I'd feel weird talking about it, though, so I'm kinda glad they're not bringing it up. I think.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

I have an amazing family! Both my brother and my dad are very supportive and loving. I told my dad around a year and a half ago and he told me that he will love me forever, no matter what. And my brother said the same thing. After I came out, my father would sometimes give me very helpful advices and say things like "It's very disappointing and sad how some small-minded people still hate homosexual people these days." My brother (which I came out to on Christmas' day 2012) also like to joke around with me. For instance, when there are hot shirtless guys in movies or when Josh Hutcherson appears on TV or anywhere (he knows i have a huge crush on Josh Hutcherson) he will say things like "Oh oh look! I bet you are enjoying this ."

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

Right on the money, for me as well.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

They know and they don't really care
Don't talk about it
Life goes on as usual.

 

Re: How did you family react when you came out? Are you able to be open with them now

My mom actually...walked in on something I'm not very proud of. She sat me down, told me to never do anything with another girl again. I tried to explain it was real feelings and that I wasn't going to fit them. So...she sent me to a shrink. Later on I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which she still thinks was the cause. Just a couple of months ago, I found a book hidden in their storage closet that said: "How to deal if your child is gay" or something like that. Still not sure how to handle it but at least I'm being honest with myself and a few close friends.