In my youth I was indoctrinated by my folks that homosexuality was wrong. I remember several instances in my childhood that it was compared to rape and murder. I was but a child of nine last time I have heard that from mom and dad. Fast forward to junior high, I start noticing other guys. I don't wasn't to be gay, all those things my folks said would be about me. I had a close friend named Ryan, he and I did all sorts of things together. Video games, music and all other sports of things. One day Ryan kissed me, I felt so drawn to him, so incredibly turned on. We fooled around a bit. Ryan then moved out of my life. I carried my hearth ache silently a broken heart is hard to hide when you are a14 year old boy. they took me to a therapist, but my secret was buried deep inside. after Ryan I managed to get things straight in my head. I played straight as long as I could. I never dated a girl mainly out of fear that she would find out my secret. When I was seventeen I was caught looking at gay stuff on the Web my folks lost their minds, hi felt relief because I was finally able to say things that I have felt for so long. But it want going to happen. My dad asked me if I was a faggot and I confessed to feeling gay, being attracted to boys. They were pissed, my mom said it is just a phase, what did I know of these phases I was just a boy myself. Few years later I am in college several states away. Met a guy named Josh he was my neighbor, we had many things in common became close and one day shared a but of intimacy. He swore he was straight, it never became a relationship more than or sweaty fun. I moved back home, and earned some money to get my life started. I Decided not to be gay anymore (as if). Dated some women, just didn't click. Caught up with an old high school friend the only girl I ever remember having a crush on. She is straight edge had rock and all sorts of interesting. I fell in love with her she captured my heart completely, I still love her. I think that she is asexual because she never gets with other guys. Approx five months ago I tried to tell my folks that I am bisexual but they are in complete denial. I told a close friend, then another and now everybody knows but mom and dad. They seem to not get the drift thatI am not straight.
