1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Came out to my parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by justinf, Jan 5, 2013.

  1. justinf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    1,212
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, I did it. I came out to my parents.

    Like I explained in another thread, I'd already yelled that I was gay and kissed my boyfriend in front of my whole family on New Year's, so they'd probably already guessed, but I hadn't told them officially, so.. yeah.

    I asked them yesterday night if I could invite my boyfriend over for dinner today (I didn't say bf; I just said his name, they know him), and they replied with an "of course, Sam's always welcome here." Figured that was probably them saying 'we know.' But I still had to actually say it, and I cannot describe in words how nervous I still was.

    I didn't sleep all night, and I was too nauteous all day to be able to eat anything, so dinner was actually my first meal of the day.

    It was a bit awkward when we got to my parents' house, but thank god my brother was there as well and brought his playstation, so all the guys (me, my dad, my bf, and my brother) just played some playstation, which doesn't require a lot of talking.

    At the dinner table I kept postponing what I came to say, I just didn't find a good way or moment to say it. Luckily my parents picked up on my uncomfortableness, and decided to sort of bring it up themselves. My dad said "well that was one hell of a start of the new year, wasn't it, guys?" We laughed a bit, and then I just went for it.

    I said "about that.. you know what happened at the party.. between me and Sam. Well it wasn't because I was drunk, it was because we're together." (At this moment my heart felt like it was gonna bounce right out of my chest, and I was this close to crying.)
    All my dad said was: "I'm glad you told us, son."
    My mom came up to me half in tears (why the hell do people cry about stuff like this?), gave me a suffocating hug, and said "Justin, if this is who you are then I'm glad you figured it out. We still love you no matter what, don't forget that." That was the point where I lost it and burst into tears. So embarrassing.

    We just talked a little more about it, about how I was still the same to them, and how they didn't have a problem with it, bla bla. My dad was a little quiet, though. Actually a lot quiet. It was pretty much just my mom talking. I'd expected that. I don't know how he truly feels. It hurts me a bit that his view of me has obviously changed, but I can't do anything about it.

    Oh they did both show their approval of my taste in guys, though, lol.

    My dad also asked me straight out if I was gay, to which I answered I didn't know what I was, and they didn't ask about it again.

    This actually wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be, it's just now that it's over and I'm back in my own apartment.. I start to get so emotional and I don't know why. I have to try so hard to keep my tears back. I'm also really nervous, even though I've already told them. I don't know what it is, and I don't like it. I just feel like I wanna cry all night, though obviously I don't really want to. I'm shakey. Ugh, it's hard to explain.

    Well, anyway, I'm out to my parents now. I could do without the stupid feelings right now, but all in all I'm really happy I did it, not just for me, but for my boyfriend as well. (*hug*)
    And I couldn't have asked for a better reacton, from my mom at least. :slight_smile:
     
    #1 justinf, Jan 5, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2013
  2. Night Rain

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,647
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Asia
    I'm glad things worked out for you. :grin: I too think that they knew already. Congratulations! I did follow your other thread and was dying to see how things would go. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Aniot

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2012
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Congratulations! I'm so happy for you that everything went very very well! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Dalmatian

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    689
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London, UK
    Beautiful :slight_smile: I love reading these success stories :grin: So.. what were reactions of your brother and boyfriend?

    Oh, and, emotions are great, why would you want to suppress them? If you feel like crying, cry, dammit :grin: No better reason than happiness :wink: This has been a huge emotional dam which is now lifted off of your shoulders. Of course you are feeling overwhelmed.
     
    #4 Dalmatian, Jan 5, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2013
  5. Given To Fly

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2012
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Birmingham, UK
    Hi Justin,

    Congrats on getting it over with. Sounds like you have a great family.
    As for the emotions, just go with them - let it out. (*hug*)
     
  6. PatyR

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mexico.
    Wow congratulations! That's really great! :grin:
    I don't think your dad is angry (and hiding it) or anything, I think he's just kinda shocked, so give him time to assimilate. You're his precious son, if you understand him then he will understand you as well :grin:
    Being emotional is normal lol, I would be like that too

    Anyway, congratulations one more time (&&&)
     
  7. Rexmond

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    687
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    What your mother said to you, don't ever forget that! It almost bought a tear to my eye. It might not mean a lot to you, but for us gay people whose families, especially our parents, wouldn't still love us after we come out.
     
  8. shovelman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2012
    Messages:
    238
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon
    Congrats! You're lucky to have such awesome loving parents and not everyone can say that so really appreciate the fact that they were so accepting :slight_smile:
     
  9. ForceAndVerve

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Messages:
    617
    Likes Received:
    0
    Good on ya Justin! Really happy for you! :grin:

    Yes!!! Your boyfriend is really lucky to have you. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Van

    Van
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2013
    Messages:
    748
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    (.bg) Europe
    You'll make me cry. :grin: Your mom is really sweet. (&&&)
     
  11. Draco

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2012
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Dude good for you!
     
  12. Lewis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2012
    Messages:
    1,477
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Aw. Congratulations! I really envy (in the best way possible) this story, I'd love parents like yours. Your new year is going to be amazing, you're out, you have a boyfriend and things can only get better from there. :slight_smile:
     
  13. cscipio

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City
    Really awesome! Congrats. It's nice that you have accepting parents. I'll bet you and your dad catch a good stride shortly.
     
  14. justinf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    1,212
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thankyou guys! It means a lot. :slight_smile:
    I know how lucky I am with my parents, I'm very grateful for that. I wish everyone could get the same reaction I got.

    They already knew I was gonna tell my parents, so obviously they weren't surprised :slight_smile: And it was mostly my mom talking, so they didn't really have a chance to say something haha. My brother gave me a hug after dinner, as did my boyfriend. I still feel way too uncomfortable to cuddle or kiss or whatever in front of them, though, so we didn't do that.

    thanks again!
     
  15. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Justin, I think it's fantastic that you decided to take the step and tell them. Even though they likely already knew, the fact you just went for it and dealt with the issue head on is very powerful.

    I suspect part of the reason you had such a strong reaction afterwards is that you're still struggling with accepting yourself as either bisexual or gay. And, by telling your parents, and having them accept you, it sort of forces you to accept and acknowledge that you aren't straight... which, for you, seems to still carry a lot of weight.

    I've always admired your willingness to dive in and confront scary things, and I think you've just shown yourself yet again that you can take on these difficult challenges and overcome them.

    As for your dad... I'm quite confident he'll be fine. It's often a little more difficult for fathers to come to grips with their gay (or bi) sons than it is for mothers, in part, I think, because they look at their sons as an extension of themselves. But I'm sure he'll come around :slight_smile:
     
  16. Dalmatian

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    689
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London, UK
    Hugs seem very appropriate :slight_smile: I'm loving that picture :slight_smile:

    Beautiful, I say! Thanks for sharing!
     
  17. Sayu

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    511
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Wow, amazing! Good for you! (&&&)
     
  18. jsmurf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2011
    Messages:
    620
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho Panhandle
    Really happy for you Justin. :slight_smile:
     
  19. quinos

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2013
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    All the best man!
     
  20. BradThePug

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    6,573
    Likes Received:
    288
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Congrats!! I'm glad that your parents accepted you!