I posted this letter earlier today in the Support and Advice forum. Everyone was very helpful. If you haven't seen it, I've copied it here. Dad, I have something I need to tell you. But I can't think of the right words to say it. In fact, I don't think I can say it out loud in front of you right now. I don't really know why. My friends know. I just hope that you will let me tell people when I'm ready. I'm gay. Mom knows, and she's okay with it. Please, talk to me. Tell me you are okay with me being gay. I can't change, even if I wanted to, so fighting with me about it isn't going to accomplish anything good. I know you don't want to fight me, though. The worst case scenario keeps playing in my head, so please, assure me that I don't need to worry. Richie Anyways, I handed it to him, and sat down on the opposite side of the room. While he was reading, I was staring at the TV, because I didn't want to see his reaction. When he finished reading (at least I'm assuming it was when he finished, I still wasn't looking at him at this point) he said "You don't have to worry about nothing." I know, double negative, but those are his words, and that's how he talks. So, I guess I'm happy now? I'm not really sure what this feeling is. But, for the first time in weeks, it feels like I can breath on my own. I hadn't even realized that there was some degree of pressure on me until just now. But other than that, I don't feel anything new. Anyone else had this feeling of nothingness when you told your parent(s) and received what can be classified as acceptance? (That's how I'm taking it. It was great. My mom didn't have to kick him out, and I still have my dueling partner (we play yugioh together on the weekends (yes, we are nerds))) On a separate note, I don't think I've ever had to use triple parentheses before.
Congratulations on coming out! That's really good, actually. Now, read through the Stages of Grief, so that you can understand if he starts acting crazy in the next few weeks. It could be that everything will be sunshine and happiness, but if not, understand that it is part of a normal grieving process that your father might have to go through to get to acceptance. If you think he would be open to it, you can share it with him, too. Also, if you think he will accept it but that it will be hard for him, then you should definitely take him to PFLAG. Send him to this page, and find a PFLAG chapter in your area. It's good for you to be open to answering his questions, but it's also good for him to have someone else to ask. And someone to talk to who will understand what he's going through and not take it personally, whatever kinds of feelings he needs to express.
Congratulations on telling your Dad! I didn't really feel any different after telling my parents either, but i definitely felt more comfortable around them. I hope all goes well in the future (*hug*) ...oh and it's so cool that you are dueling partners! I used to love YuGiOh
Congratulations .. I am glad it worked out all right and happy you gathered the courage to do it in the first place ... Once again .. congratulations ...
Thanks, everyone. I've had a night to sleep on it, and I actually feel a little relieved now. It feels like I don't have to worry about telling anyone (except my sisters baby daddy, but he doesn't need to know.)
My mom was the same way. I can't even consider telling my dad because he doesn't even think gays are real. He thinks they just do that for attention. I know, he's an idiot and I (obviously) don't agree with him... But after a while, like when you're interested in someone, you start to realise you can talk to them now and you don't have to hide it or make up stories anymore... It just makes life so much easier but sometimes you dot notice it until it comes into play and then it's almost a tangible difference.
