Hey EC, So I finally accepted myself as being gay. This is after many questionable and confusing years and too many failed dates when I was trying to be straight and "fit in". No one else knows yet, but I hope to change that soon. I know this next step is going to be very tough. Do you guys have any advice for the first steps of coming out? I figured it would be best to start with telling my parents and brother, then move on to a couple of my closest friends. After that, I'm not sure. I would like to do this all fairly quickly. (I've always been more of a guy that "rips the band-aid off quickly rather than slowly pull it off"). I even thought about posting a facebook message as well, but I'm not sure if including social network sites early in the process is a smart idea. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Hi, you sound like you're at the stage all of us had before we came out. Remember that there is no rush to come out, but being able to truly be yourself is fabulous. I started off by letting my closest friends know and they were completly accepting! Usually people tell their friends first because they can understand you better and obviously are younger than your parents so don't have any old fashioned views on sexuality.
Thanks for the advice. From the stories I read, it sounds like telling my friends first is the best way to start. I hope they are just as accepting. I should have also included in my first post that I am 28. So this stage is a bit later than usual. One of my best friends is also my co-worker, so I am afraid of making things awkward at my workplace. Has anyone out there had a similar experience that worked out ok?
i still havent told my parents yet. but all my friends have been great and we often go out as a group with my girlfriend which they all find no problem. i dont even know how to tell my parents but im at the stage now where im looking into telling them.
You are fine, lots of people come out all through their 20s, and people tell their parents at all kinds of ages. You shouldn't assume that all the people you think of as being openly gay are out to their parents. Often, people are very open about their sexuality--in a different state from where their parents live. Here's some general coming out advice: Start with one person that you know will accept you. Tell at least three people that you know will respond well before you tell anyone that you think might not. If you aren't sure about anyone, go meet some gay people first. It will be hard coming out even if you have support, so make sure you do. Make some friends that you know you can be out to without them rejecting you. Rather than starting with the people who you are closest to, start with the people who you can predict with reasonable certainty will not react badly. And about coming out at work: Coming out at work can be hard, even if there are nondiscrimination laws. Nondiscrimination laws can't make people be nice to you--they can't prevent you from being ostracized socially. It really depends on where you work and who your coworkers are how it will go. Sometimes, everyone is accepting or congratulatory, and it all goes swimmingly. Other times, your employer will be looking for justification to fire you. It just depends on the people. Are there any employees where you work that are out? Choose someone other than your parents or your coworker friend to be the first person you tell. Someone who will accept you, and where their aren't other things complicating everything, such as working together or being your parents. If you think your brother will be supportive, he would probably be a good person to start with.
from what i experianced, your friends will understand more then parents. my parents hate it how im tg. i try to act like a normal boy near them but when im with friends i act like the real me and they are supportive.
Sorry for the late response. Thank you, everyone, for the replies. I feel much better than I did before consulting help here. I'm sure glad I found this site. My friend at work is starting to get suspicious since he's pestering me more and more about how my online dating is going and if I have any current leads/dates (I quit using it since I accepted myself as gay. My dating profile is pretty much a lie at this point). So I plan on having him and his wife (whom I'm also close friends with) over to my place for dinner later this week. I'm sure the topic of my love life will come up at some point that evening, so I will use that opportunity to break the news. Wish me luck. I sure hope I don't chicken out. I'll save informing my parents til last. My mom should take it well, I think. Sadly, my dad will probably never speak to me again. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Thanks again for all the help.
