I... Actually Did It

Me and my mom were sitting around talking about college and serious matters and stuff about fifteen minutes ago. During conversation, I asked her if she had looked at the christmas gift I made her, a little flip book of like 40 of my favorite quotes from video games, songs, and stuff and even a few from some LGBT movies like curiosity of chance and you should meet my son.

Anyways, I had been sitting there for a while just wanting to tell her I was gay and while I was contemplating this, I began to grow a distant, anxious look on my face, and my mom noticed it. So, here's how it went:

"What're you thinking about?" my mom asked me as she noticed the growing look of anxiety that had sprawled across my despondent face.

"Eh, nothing," I muttered without looking at her as the concealed words lay trapped in my stomach, eating away at my very soul as they wished to be expressed.

"It's something," my mom insisted. "Is there something you wanna tell me?"

And it begins. No backing out of it now. I thought as I tried to avoid eye contact with all my might.

"Is there something you want to ASK me?" I countered, still refusing to make eye contact.

"Do you WANT me to know?" mom cocked her head to the side.

God knows how much I want to tell you... I just can't get the words out! I screamed inwardly as I tried to summon forth the words from my lungs.

"Is it about relationships..." suddenly, the room pulsed at my mom's question. She had scored a critical hit right at the nail's weakpoint.

Suddenly, I couldn't even breathe correctly. Each rasp was full of fragmented anxiety. I stared with such force into thin air, hoping that I could somehow escape the dimension that I was currently in.

And then, I felt my mom's warming arm wrap around me.

"It's okay," she whispered.

Man, that was corny... I couldn't help smirking inwardly, the comic relief helping to soothe my shaking nerves.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked genuinely.

"Actually, not really," I smiled as the burden was taken off of my chest. "I just wanted the fact out in the air, I didn't really need any advice or anything."

So, that's pretty much how it went. We did end up talking about it for like an hour. She genuinely wanted to understand it and asked how i know and all taht. She WAS zetta worried that someone was gonna try to hurt me because of it and all. And she was saddened that I had kept it from her for two years.

But I emphasized that it was no sweat. I was fine with it and everything so there was nothing to worry about. She told me not to bring some douchebag jerk home though, which made me laugh.

Although, she did tell me she probably wasn't ready to see me holding hands with another guy yet, but i told her not to worry because I'm far from a relationship (though she thought my best friend was my boyfriend lols). But I respected her honesty with it. I hope she got everything off her chest and asked all the questions she needed to know.

But it just feels so weird. I never thought I would have been in the situation. It felt so phantasmal, that when I got up to walk, my legs felt unreal. Aaah, but i'm just glad it's done.

 

Heh, thanks guys. You always see these "came out to mom" threads. It feels funny when you're actually the author of one

 

Lols yeah cuz she wasn't the only one to think that! EVERYONE that i've come out to so far asked the same thing, or either thought HE was the gay one.

Thanks, I actually write a lot in my spare time. I've started like six stories and finished two of em, so I'm certainly pushing to be a published author someday! ^^

Yep, it truly does feel much better. I know she'd PREFER me to be straight, honestly, but over time, I know she'll accept it. I've had my whole life to come to terms with it, so, it's only fair to give her time as well.

 

Heh yeah, it was an awkward moment, but i'm glaad it's done