Came out to Dad

That wasn't the worst possible reaction, but it was probably the worst I’ve had yet. So mum’s still out and I went downstairs, my dad had turned the TV on. I didn’t look what it was. I came in with my head down looking at my feet and sat down in a chair fairly close to him. I sat completely silent for about five minutes with my hands shaking vigorously then eventually just said the two words, “I’m gay.”

His first reaction was, “What?” but not in an angry way he was just confirming what I had said.

“I’m gay.”

He didn’t say anything else at all:dead:. He just sat there in complete silence staring at the TV. I was shaking my entire body with tears streaming down my face, I hadn’t expected for him to say nothing. I left the room wiping my eyes and went straight to my room where I sat curled up for what felt like a month and cried until m dad knocked on the door. He came in and simply said, “Are you sure.”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak but just nodded.

He then said, “Perhaps if you just…”

“Dad. I know I’m gay, I’ve had girlfriends and I wasn’t attracted to them but it’s different with boys,” I was in full flow now so nervous I couldn’t, “I’ve been seeing someone, a guy…”

He walked out and shut the door, I didn’t have the guts to pursue him any further.
It could have been worse but the lack of conversation was a nightmare. At least he’ll still talk to me but I now that I’ve done it I REALLY regret telling him about my boyfriend:bang: , I hadn’t intended to because I felt it would be an overload. I’m trying to take the attitude of what’s said I can’t take back and I’ve got to move on and hopefully he will too.

 

(*hug*)
Congratulations JWAD !!

It's must still be a bit of a shock for him, it's understandable, give it a bit of time, it should get easier.

 

I knew I'd get it sooner or later. My dad's beenon the phone to one of the people who work for him and says that he may have managed to set up a date for me with her daughter.

It felt like I was the adult then. I spoke calmly and just said, "Dad, you don't have to be ok with my being gay. All I want for now at least is you accept that I'm not going to be seeing girls romantically. I know this is hard for you, it was hard for me too at first but once I accepted it everything got gradually better, just promise you won't try and pressure me into being straight again because I can't change the way I feel."

My dad just hugged me and nodded then left the room again.

I don't think he's completely ok with me yet but at least he's found out from me and not someone else. Hopefully in the future he'll be able to hug me and just say how he doesn't care that I'm gay but I think that's going to take along time and for now I'm glad he can just accept that I'm not straight.

 

I'm really sorry that it's gone so badly - but also congratulations on your courage!! I think though, that you are probably at the worst point right now, and that this precise moment in time probably marks the lowest point. Although obviously I may be wrong, and I don't know your father, I think that usually the worst reaction comes right at the very beginning, when people are taken by surprise, and in the shock and variety of emotions that fill them they act very badly. That said, I don't know whether your dad will come round - but I do know that my sister was VERY homophobic and shouted abuse at me and all sorts of things - but now, a while later, she accepts me. What I want to say is, just ride it out, and don't lose all hope just yet. Your dad is right at the very first step, and has only just been confronted with this, and it sounds as though he is clinging to straws, thinking that setting you up with a girl will straighten you out...

But congratulations - and I hope for the best

 

Yeah seems like most of the straight men froze when feelings are drawn to the table.
but wonderful for you... it was amazing

BIG HUG!!!

 

It'll get better =] Im always here to talk. Make sure you keep us updated on what happens. *hug hug hug*

 

Thanx to all of you. Especially ccdd, it helps to know that you've been through at least a very similar experience and that it's worked out for you, thanx JWAD.

 

That's fine (*hug*) - I just hope it works out for you too. When we spoke when she'd come round she just kept talking about the shock, how she'd known me one way, but actually I was another, and what did this mean about the future, about children, what would people say, how could this be...

It took her several months, but it happened, and we somehow got to the point we're now at. I hope I'm not giving you false hope, but I really hope your dad comes round too *fingers crossed*

 

I dont think you are giving me false hope here. I honestly think that with time and conversation eventually, I think he'll realise but I'm not an idiot I realise that the road ahead is long and difficult and y dad and I are only at the beggining but so long as we both try I think we can get through the rough part and hopefully just go back to the relationship we had before, except probably even closer. thanx again