I have been dating a girl I love for a month and our relationship was awesome. We kind of saved each others lives before and are now beginning to be happy again since we had severe depression. Her mom was really worried about her because she was suicidal and read her diary (having no idea about our relationship). Now her parents are freaked out because it described intimate moments we shared. :tears: She is my girlfriend and bestfriend and now they won't let her see me again. Plus they may call and tell my parents. I don't know what to do, my closest friends are the only one who know about this and my society is incredibly homophobic. :help: I would really appreciate advice from you guys, what do you suggest?
Maybe it's time for some damage comtrol - your parents would probably react better to the news if they heard it from you. As for your gf, maye with time her parents will come round and let you see her, but they probably need time to process it for themselves. Good luck (*hug*)
Thank you! both of you I think they may freak out a bit. My father may be okay with it (not fully okay, but he respects my decisions). But my mother says she doesn't have nothing against gays but she is scared of lesbians because she thinks they are gross. <-- Doesn't make sense at all. That's why I don't want to tell my parents.. Oh, and my girlfriend's parents told her she is sick and i'm sick too. Do you really think they will come around and let me see her?
Well, they sound better than what many people have to deal with - I'm sure they'll deal with it better coming from you than over the phone from a potentially angry parent. I understand fully your hesitation though. As for her parents, all you can really do is give them space and time. They've had a shock, and they aren't comfortable with what they've found out. But we all know that they can't change their daughter's feelings, and I'd hope they'd want what is best for her and makes her happy.
I do think they will It's kinda of a shock to them they kinda have to go in to the closest a little to until they fully understand and get use to the idea of you being BI. when you first started to feel that you were bi didn't you need sometime? Like Given To Fly I would tell them before someone else does , but it's your call. If you don't think her parents will tell yours then maybe you should wait if you are not ready to fully come out.
I agree with the damage control and go to my parents first. If they are told by others they could lose their trust in you for keeping this a secret. If you think you have a shot at telling them and not having them go through the ceiling, I would do that and quickly. Your girlfriend needs to handle whatever comes her way and not be defiant. It will make her case better. She can work on reaching her parents over time. This could work. They may allow the friendship but the romance part would be out of the question. You two would have to cool that until her parents are accepting or you are old enough to move in together. This is rough. I am so sorry this happened. You two can weather the storm if you really love each other and are a strong couple. Could you put the relationship on hold and reenter it later, do you love her that much? Does she love you that much or would she play straight to keep the parents happy? There will come a time when both of you will need to decide those questions, together and apart. Hugs
Thank you very much for all the advice. I didn't tell my parents, but gave them hints making it easy for them to deduce it. Then her dad called mine, they talked; and my parents talked to my psychologist later. Apparently they are almost okay with it. They say they think it's best for me not to see her in a while (they think I am not ready to decide my sexuality yet and I am not capable to experience love yet). Unfortunately her parents didn't take it as easy as mine. The don't want us to see us ever again. She is really devastated and I am too. They canceled the wireless internet on her house and don't allow her to leave the house alone. So we can only talk by phone once in a while (my parent's don't want me to talk to her for a while) and chat every now and then. Have any of you got an idea of how to make this situation easier?
I don't think there is much you can do, except wait, hope they come round, which will at the least take time. If you have evidence she is being mistreated by her folks (grounding and taking away things like internet is not mistreatment), then intervention can be sought, but even that would probably not be pretty. The other option, which I know will seem unpalatable, is to accept it and move on. Not saying that's would you should do, just laying it on the table as an option. (*hug*)
She does not have parents she has jailors. That's absurd. The tighter they hold on the more she will rebel against their control. It is a good way to lose their daughter. I say this on many levels. If you believe you have no way out of a dilemma what are the other options. You may have the best chance to rescue the situation by talking with your psychologist and telling him/her the extremes these parents are going through with your girlfriend. You psychologist may be able to intervene in some way. I have seen situations like this before and don't like them, they scare me when parents over react and kids respond in kind. Hugs and I hope this all works out.
It's a shame when stuff like this happens...it hasn't happened to me but it's bound from common sense and knowing other things, it's better people know before other people tell them, otherwise they feel like you've been hiding other things from them. Really sorry about you and your girlfriend, I really hope her parents come around so you two can be together again, good luck
I know!!! They are jailors! Yes, I'd do that (*hug*) thanks! And thank you very much Silverbells too!
