Being Outed By A Teacher?!

If you are out at school, the teacher probably didn't realize that your parents didn't know. I have had more than one friend who was a high school teacher talk to me about their gay students, and it became obvious that they assumed that because the student was out to everyone at school, that they must be out at home, too.

Did your mom seem surprised by the idea that you are gay?

 

I'm not actually sure if there are any laws on teachers outing pupils, so it may actually be legal what the teacher did. However, morals are a different matter.

I'm afraid there's nothing you can do now, they've told her. It's a bit late to deny it seeing as you're already out to everyone but your family. You may as well use this opportunity to come out to your family.

Also, you should probably sort out this issue of people making fun of you. If it's just verbal (which it sounds like it is, and I'm hoping it is), then a pretty common and effective way is to take the power away. Verbal bullies generally feel pretty shit themselves, or have some form of issues going on in their lives. Instead of taking the high road, they decide to make others feel shit so they can feel superior. It's pretty much how racism started, but taken way beyond verbal abuse. If you don't give them any satisfaction, they won't feel superior and will eventually leave you alone. Generally the most effective way to accomplish this is to act like you really don't care, I.E responses like "finished?" "don't care" "not interested" "write the rest down and I'll get back to you when I start caring" followed up by walking away. If it is physical bullying then I wouldn't advise the above, but hopefully it is verbal and this can help you some

Feel free to message me if you'd like some more advice, you shouldn't let the bullying continue though, nobody deserves it.

All the best.

 

How did the call from your mum go? Was it accusatory? Quizzical? Curious? Supportive?

I feel for you over the bullying - I suffered it most of my time at school, although it wasan't over my sexuality - I managed to avoid that somehow... (*hug*)

 

Is she more likely to be angry at you for being gay, or the bullies for bullying you?
Also are you going to have a chance to collar your teacher before the meeting so you can explain things? I'm sure he/she wouldn't want to cause you any trouble at home, but they are also going to want to help you stop the bullying.

 

Not sure what to suggest. As far as the school is concerned, it makes no difference whether you are gay or not - the issue is the bullying - and it may not necessarily be treated any different to any other kind of insult, if that makes sense. But I would imagine you can expect some questions afterward, regardless of how the school treat it.

Sorry, I'm probably not helping...

 

Good luck - and I hope that regardless of how it goes with your mum, they can sort out the bullying issue - believe me I know how horrible it is to be on the receiving end.

Yu never know, she might just turn out to be your biggest supporter after seeing what you put up with.

(*hug*)

 

Keep us posted? I hope everything will be okay!

 

Well, what's done is done - there is no point fretting. How did the talk with the counsellor go? Can you see things improving at school?

 

I hope those ways to help you he's looking for are ways of bringing the bullies into line...

 

Wow, I'm sorry that your school outed you. They most likely did not realize that you weren't out to your parents. I hope that your mom is understanding. I also hope that the school can do something about the bullies.

 

Hey that's what we're here for. We might not be there physically, but you can come to us anytime. (*hug*)

Have you spoken to your mum yet? How did it go?

Fingers crossed for you