I'm finding it lately increasingly more difficult to not come out to my father and other two family members. I am tired of sacrificing myself for the sake of others, I've decided to never allow that to happen again. I'm not sure how to actually start the conversation off leading into coming out. Any ideas? I've been in the closet for 9 years now...way way too long. All I want is to be happy and learn to love myself. I want to eventually get into a relationship where I actually feel desire for the person; a real,"normal" relationship. I could honestly use some ideas and stories to consider..I know coming out with never be "not scary" but its necessary for my happiness long term. Its just so darn hard lol:eusa_doh:
I just started a thread exactly like this, and I know exactly how you feel. I've spent 11 years hiding this, crying over it, hating myself for it... I'm exhausted and I can't do it anymore. Lately I'll be in the middle of a conversation with one of my parents and I'll think to myself, "Just say it. Right now, just do it." Now that I know I want to tell them, I just need to know how. Someone in my thread suggested bringing up an LGBTQ-related event or story to transition into coming out, but doing that seems just as awkward as blurting out "I'M GAY!" @___@ I think I may resort to taking the more dramatic route. I've kept a journal for the past two years, and some of the entries are small letters to my parents (apologizing for being gay). I think I might read them some. It would get my point across while showing them how much hiding it hurt me, and how I tried to be the perfect daughter for them. Anyway, I hope you narrow down your strategies. Haha. We're making the right decision!
Thank you for telling me about your situation. I don't feel alone anymore Your idea is actually a really good one, it goes beyond just telling them but explaining the emotions behind it. I wish you the best of luck with your parents. I would love to hear how everything went if you feel like sharing. Thanks again,
I'm a not so young guy, who has been working on accepting myself as gay, working on the transition from a hetero life. I've attended a couple of meetings of a mens coming out group. The advice I got about coming out to people you know -- when it interferes with your relationship with them (that is, its still a secret), then its time to come out. OTOH - if you don't come out to your dry cleaner or the gas station attendant -- that's probably not going to interfere with your life Makes SO MUCH sense to me. I've been bringing home magazines about gay parenting, flyers about events, and other stuff -- and I realized I'm hiding them so my kids don't find them.... :bang: so I'm going to have to work on how to come out to them.
Why does life have to be so complicated? I want to stop sacrificing myself for the sake of others. I want to focus on making myself happy before trying to make others happy. I don't even know how I would deal with my husbands family once I come out...
