So I'm at a open source conference right now, and I've known one contributor for a number of years who's openly gay. And it took every ounce of courage that I had, but I came out to him at our evening event today! I took him to the side, and just told him (so it was a private 1:1 thing, not to everyone or anything like that). His support couldn't have been better (and there's nothing to think that his reaction would have been bad, he's gay too after all, but even so thoughts were roaming through my head over the past few weeks of "what if he won't accept me?" even though it's completely ludicrous). It went something like this: Me: Geez, it's so hard to say this, I've been wanting to for a number of years, but I just couldn't accept myself, let alone tell anyone else <long pause> Me: I bet you thought you were the only person in the community who's gay for awhile. I've got news for you, you aren't. Him: Well, I never thought I was the only one, but yeah. Anything you need, 24/7, feel free to let me know in confidence. Here, let me give you my phone number. We talked for awhile, he made sure I was OK, and we proceeded back to the event. After that, I felt such a weight lifted from my shoulders that I was actually able to enjoy myself whereas before that in the evening I was just....existing (the alcohol may have helped!) He also assured me that he's had zero problems within the community because of his sexuality, and I said that's a big thing for me - I don't want to hurt the community in any way or risk my reputation that I've spent years building, or risk being rejected by folks. He put away any fears of that which I may have had. I think that part of that comes from folks that are involved in open source are naturally of a more liberal and accepting mindset than most, so it sort of makes sense. Another group (not with him, he was being the poker maven he's known for though he was out of the game when I went over to check when I was done....) and I played Cards Against Humanity (look it up if you don't know what it is. Most. Awesome. Game. EVAR!) for a few hours. You'll never see your friends in the same light again after that Now I'm going to bed, I'm emotionally drained and operating on fumes as it is (only got 4 hours of sleep last night, not looking like a ton more tonight - that's what makes these conferences fun and exhausting!)
congrats. looks like you picked a great person to come out to. it was very considerate of him to calm your fears like that. i'm really happy for you.
Congratulations on coming out to him. Glad you are having a great time at the conference and can be a bit more yourself!
Congratulations!!! This is exactly how I felt when I came out to a gay colleague at work - it's strange how we seem to talk ourselves into thinking that people won't accept us, even when we know for sure that they will.
I've found the IT community to be very gay friendly. Most people really just care that you can get the job done. So I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm glad it went well for you. Sounds like you had a good time at the conference.
