I have no idea why? Going into the session on Friday, I thought about it and wanted to come out to her. I sat down, talked with the doc for a little bit and had an opening to say I'm gay. I don't know word for word how it went but I remember thinking OK, here's your chance to say that you are gay and i totally pussed out. I CANT BELIEVE IT! Why can't I say it to anyone other than my best friend?? Man I am frustrated, I just want to tell her I'm gay but I wimp out every time.... Getting really annoyed with myself.:bang:
Don't be too hard on your self. Coming out to people is hard thing to do especially if you're just starting to take your first steps out. It might get easier after you tell more people but every person is different so there will always be different reactions whether they're positive or negative just don't blame your self for it. Now is there a reason other than her being your therapist that you have for wanting to tell her? also think about why you can't tell her when the opportunity presents its self.
Exactly, it gets easier after you have told more people. So far you have only told your best friend, which I imagine was really hard to do, so good on you for that! I remember how long it took me to come out to my therapist, on so many occasions I had the perfect moment but I just pussied out. The only other thing I can say is that once you tell them, it is really relieving and satisfying! Next time you have the opportunity to tell her, ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? And if you have no real, honest reason not to tell her, then just do it! You could start by saying "I have something really important about me that I need to tell you." Then once you say that, you will have no choice because your therapist will almost certainly be able to tell if you follow it up with something other than the important thing.
It took me a very long time to tell my shrink. Once I brought it up, it made all the difference. I'm going to suggest you do something that makes it your agenda for your next session- like send your therapist an email telling her there is something personal about your sexuality you need to say or leave her a similar voicemail. . It's human nature to keep things to yourself that are risky to talk about. Don't be hard on yourself - I'll tell you that it'll do your heart soul and life well to bring it up with her sooner rather than later. Peace
@shovelman... Yeah, I'm not sure what exactly is stopping me from telling her, I've told her things that I have never said out loud in my entire life and she's been completely supportive and understanding. I'll talk to my friend about being gay and random other things that involve my sexuality and it feels awesome to freely talk to him about that, and I'm sure it'll feel the same if I tell her. I just don't know what's stopping me. Maybe I'm just too comfortable with how things are now and don't want t to take the risk of telling anyone else @soulkitchen... I think that's a really good idea to email/text/call her and tell her that I want to talk to her about something with my sexuality. Might have to do that, thanks... Oh and do you really live on a hippie commune? If so, that's awesome! @petenj.... Like I said with soulkitchen, Pete, I think that contacting her ahead of time to let her know I want to talk to her about my sexuality is a really good idea. I do feel like I need to tell her and I know telling her would make me feel better. That where I'm confused why I can't tell her. Even knowing that it'll make me feel better, and I need to feel better, she said I have borderline PTSD
My therapist was the first person I ever told...and it took me MONTHS to tell him. I finally told him one night after saying I had to tell him something, and I couldn't look at him when I did it. I just blurted out..."I don't want to date only men..." and waited. He didn't say anything at first...then smiled at me and said "Is THAT what this is all about????" We had a bit of a laugh, and that was that. It comes up frequently, although, I'm still not good talking about it. So, I try, and when it gets to be too much I tell him I need a break and he backs off. It works well. It's hard. But, it's been worth it. I think if I hadn't ever told him, I would have ended up never telling anyone ever.
Lol, that's good to hear. I'll probably do what you just described, I don't know that id be able to look her in the eye while saying it. Not out of being ashamed but I think my main problem about being gay is how people would stereotype me and think that I'm defined by my sexuality. Its just a small part of who I am, it shapes my life greatly but I'm not defined by it. I know everyone who is responding is for the most part telling me to relax and not be so hard on myself but I just feel like I'm being untruthful and hypocritical. I hate when people aren't honest, that why I say hypocritical. Like I'm subconsciously ashamed of myself.... I dunno, kinda part of why I see a therapist I guess
