1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I finally told my parents!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by prism, Jan 26, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 2
  1. prism

    prism
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    749
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Wow. First of all, I want to thank everyone on EC. When I joined in June, I was in a heterosexual relationship and dead set on staying in the closet forever. Now I've broken up with my boyfriend and come out to my parents.

    I'm on winter break and I return to university tomorrow, and I promised myself that I was going to tell my parents before going back. For the past three weeks, there have been at least 100 opportunities where I could have told them, but I chickened out every time. I wanted to find a way where I could ease into the conversation without making a big deal out of it, but ... there's really no way it couldn't have been a big deal.

    I finally went into my parents' room and told my mom that I needed to talk to them. We all sat down at the kitchen table and I started crying before I even began to talk. I was shaking, and I started by rambling about all of my previous relationships, and at one point I just whimpered out "I'm gay."

    My dad asked if I was sure, and my mom joked about how I could still have babies and just buy sperm. ._.;;;;;;
    They didn't ask a lot of questions, and the whole of what the said was that they still loved me and they weren't disappointed at all.

    Overall, I'm the only one that made a big deal out of it. I just feel silly for dragging it out for over a decade. All the teasing, the pain, the self doubt, the shame... it could have been so much easier if I had been honest from the beginning. That's life, I guess.

    Now that my parents know, I don't really care who else knows. It'll be awkward and terrible to tell my ex-boyfriend, and embarrassing to tell my siblings, but I feel like I'm done with the worst of it. :slight_smile:
     
    #1 prism, Jan 26, 2013
  2. Nepenthe

    Nepenthe
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2013
    Messages:
    161
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    That's great! Congrats!

    I thought telling my sister would be embarrassing as well, but she's been the easiest one to come out to so far. I'm sure you'll be fine telling your siblings. Things are never as weird as you think they'll be :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Nepenthe, Jan 26, 2013
  3. PeteNJ

    PeteNJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2012
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    NJ
    Fantastic!

    And don't worry about the sperm and babies.... you're 21 after all!

    So glad your parents are lovingly there for you.
     
    #3 PeteNJ, Jan 26, 2013
  4. Jamie

    Jamie
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2006
    Messages:
    680
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Drammen, Norway (from England originally).
    Congratulations!!! Now time to start being yourself :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Jamie, Jan 26, 2013
  5. GayLibertarian

    GayLibertarian Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2013
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    That is fantastic!! Congrats, and now begins where you can truly be yourself and love every minute of it.
     
    #5 GayLibertarian, Jan 26, 2013
  6. Given To Fly

    Given To Fly
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2012
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Birmingham, UK
    How much are you prepared to pay? :wink:

    Only joking lol
    Seriously though, well done for getting over that milestone. And well done to your parents also for being so supportive :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Given To Fly, Jan 26, 2013
  7. prism

    prism
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    749
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Thanks everyone! My mom had a lot of questions this morning, but that's understanding. It still feels so surreal.
     
    #7 prism, Jan 26, 2013
  8. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    Congrats! What a huge feat that was. It always feels nice to finally get it out and let it go, though. Glad to hear your parents were accepting of it.
     
    #8 Oddish, Jan 26, 2013
  9. Rexmond

    Rexmond
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    687
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Congratulations! It's good to know that not everyone will face the same consequences as myself if they came out to their parents. To hear your parents say they still love you no matter what, or something similar, don't forget it!
     
    #9 Rexmond, Jan 26, 2013
  10. Lewis

    Lewis
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2012
    Messages:
    1,477
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Amazing! Wish I had the bravery to do the same...
     
    #10 Lewis, Jan 26, 2013
  11. RainbowMan

    RainbowMan
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Congrats! Maybe I'm making a big deal about telling my parents too - but I've waited 2 decades, not one!

    And all of my siblings are going to be an issue too - there are some that I'm just not close with, and some that I am. (I come from a large Catholic family - I have 6 siblings!). But I think I'm going to come out to my sister (who has been dropping hints that it's OK to) first. When that will happen I'm not 100% sure, but it certainly will.
     
    #11 RainbowMan, Jan 26, 2013
  12. prism

    prism
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    749
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Thank you!

    I don't know what I expected my parents to say, but I knew they would still love and support me. I can't imagine going through what some families do to family members that come out... It's heartbreaking.

    Ahhh! That's so long! The past 11 years I've treated my sexuality like the end of the world, so telling my parents was just so... underwhelming, which is good!

    I come from a Catholic family as well, and I have three siblings. I'm very close with my younger brother, but I rarely ever speak to my older brother because we don't get along. I actually told my older brother before I even told my parents.

    Good luck and keep us updated! :slight_smile:
     
    #12 prism, Jan 26, 2013
  13. RainbowMan

    RainbowMan
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Yeah, maybe it will be. Maybe they even already know, hell if I know! I'm pretty sure my sister knows, she's been dropping hints about "getting to know me better" and she nearly directly asked me when I was at her house over the summer (we're all spread out all over the country, so she's hundreds of miles away). The conversation went around how my 4 brothers all have serious woman issues, and she was like "I hope you're gay, so you don't have to deal with all of that". Which I didn't deny, but didn't acknowledge at the same time. So yeah, I'm pretty sure she already knows :slight_smile:

    Sure thing! If there's two things that have been helpful to me in this journey, it's my therapist and EC. Still working on stuff, but my therapist thinks I'm making good progress. So we'll see. I just feel like such a coward for not having done it already.

    How did you manage to tell your older brother first? That seems to be backwards to me (but of course, everyone does it on their own terms, not criticizing the decision in any way) - wouldn't you come out to people that you're closer to first? Just makes sense to me that way.
     
    #13 RainbowMan, Jan 26, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2013
  14. starmarie

    starmarie Guest

    Congrats!!!!! I'm sooo nervous to tell my parents...I hope like your parents they won't make a big deal out of it. Glad to hear it went so well!! :icon_bigg
     
    #14 starmarie, Jan 26, 2013
  15. Ticklish Fish

    Ticklish Fish
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Internet; H-town
    belated, but congratulations! :grin:
     
    #15 Ticklish Fish, Jan 26, 2013
  16. thatlezzygirl93

    thatlezzygirl93
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dunnville
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    congrats!! I finally Came Out to my Mom today, So good for Both of us!!
     
    #16 thatlezzygirl93, Jan 26, 2013
  17. wilted

    wilted
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    622
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    A part of Arizona where it actually snows!
    Gender:
    Female
    Congrats! I'm glad it went well :slight_smile:
     
    #17 wilted, Jan 26, 2013
  18. Crystine

    Crystine Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2011
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Österreich (Austria)
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    hearing/reading about all those stories about how parents throw their kids out/never want to see them again once they know their childen are gay... it's wonderful reading one with a happy ending :grin:
    congratulations <3
     
    #18 Crystine, Jan 28, 2013
  19. GuidingLight

    GuidingLight
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2012
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL, USA
    That's so awesome! Your parents are pretty cool :slight_smile: I'm really happy for you.
     
    #19 GuidingLight, Jan 28, 2013
  20. MixedNutz

    MixedNutz
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    Congrats! awesome they had such a good reaction.
     
    #20 MixedNutz, Jan 28, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2