So where do I start.... I'm not sure whether I have the right to be confused as I have been with a girl for nearly four years now, I'm starting to doubt whether I still want to be in a gay relationship. I was with my first proper boyfriend for about the same time just before I got with her.. I didn't consider having a girlfriend or any feelings for girls while I was with him.. We got together pretty soon after I split up with him, I am her first girlfriend and obviously she is mine.. She is very sure of who she is and who she wants to be with, In all the four years of being with her I've never felt sure of who I am - I know I want to be with her. All of her friends and family know that she is gay, she identifies herself as a lesbian - I dont feel I have the right to do this as I am so unsure, I've always said I didnt want to label myself but i think I'm finding it hard not to do this.. My parents, close friends and a couple of my work colleagues know I have a girlfriend - I'd like to tell more of my work colleagues as when we have gatherings, I can never invite my +1 I think I'm scared of their reaction, comments get passed around the office and to not get upset I havent said anything to them - is this wrong?? I don't have anyone I can talk to about how I feel or the way that I think - I feel like I'm very much alone and it makes me feel quite depressed. I used to be really outgoing and confident - this is now non-existent and its taking its toll on my relationship because I envy my girlfriend for being so sure of herself and having people who are just like her she can talk to. I'm sure this thread has come cropped up many times.. I think I just need some guidance or clarification about my thoughts. Hope anyone out there can help. Thanks
Care to share why you aren't sure Of yourself? What's causing you doubts? We may be able to help you more
To further Ianthe's point, bisexuality is a perfectly valid thing. Perhaps you are attracted to both sexes (it sure sounds like it), and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Of course, having one straight relationship doesn't make you straight any more than having one gay relationship makes you gay, or having both makes you bisexual. Sadly, this is a journey that you have to experience for yourself. I'm fairly early in the journey myself, but I've accepted myself as gay, and I'll tell you that it's a rewarding journey, even though it's really, really hard. You'll come out the other side with a much more complete sense of self than you started with. Hang in there.
To Priiiide - I've always told myself that I wouldnt be with another girl I would definitely go back to a guy that is the main reason why I am unsure of myself. I find girls pretty (who doesnt) but I'm attracted to my girlfriend for who she is - not because of her gender. To Ianthe - the above will also answer your question.. RainbowMan - thanks you for the reassurance, Ill be hanging in there Thank you all for your points and questions, they are very valid and make me think even further about what I'm trying to say
Perhaps you might be pansexual then? That basically means you like people for who they are, not their genitalia/gender. That's kind of what it sounds like with the way you explain that you like your girlfriend for who she is not her gender.
Yeaah I do see a future with her and we have talked about long term plans. How those plans turn out only time will tell..
