How I knew I was bi, coming out and I NEED advice on what I should do

How I knew I was bi. Currently I am 14 and in 8th grade In 3rd grade I realized I was attracted to girls and boys, but didn't know what do. I was really scared and thought that I shouldn't be thinking about this because it was against my religion at the time (Christianity), and I always heard my mom speak negatively about lgbt's. so I tried to forget about it, but I couldn't, at the time I didn't know what bisexuality was, I only knew what gay and straight were, I would get so confused and I thought something was wrong with me. In 5th grade, I couldn't help but notice both girls and boys who were attractive. One day I talked about being attracted to boys and girls with a few of my friends, who were girls, they were really cool about it. I don't know if they remember that conversation tho. In 6th grade I was up really late one night and started watching tv and a movie was on about some girl who was bisexual, and I realized that there was a such thing as bi, and I knew I was. In 7th grade it bothered me so much I was getting depressed and very suicidle over this. I wanted to scream at everybody I saw that I was bi, but i was to scared I would get bullied over this. The next summer of going into eighth grade I was hanging out with two of my friends and I told them I have a huge secret to tell them, I really didn't want to say it so I said that they have to guess my secret. They asked for a hint, so I said closet. They day went on and they kept guessing but were no were near right. So they asked for what letter it started with, I said B, then my friend said are you bisexual. I froze up and my heart was beating so fast, each second felt like minutes, then yes slipped out of my mouth, I was so scared then I quickly said no, then he said that he would be cool with it if I was, so then I just said I was, and he and my other friend were really cool with it. I was so relieved. Then a few weeks later I was sleeping over at a different friends house with 7 other friends and I told them all in 2 different small groups that I was bi, they all reacted really well, one said I am really happy for you and that it's could that I come out young, another one said props if i was bi I would probably never come out, if anybody eve bothers you about it tell me, and my best friend said I would always support you if you were bi or gay or anything, and that he was relieved that the secret wasn't that something bad happened to my family. Then slowly I started telling more and more people. Then in 8th grade one of them who used to be my friend went around outing me to a bunch of people, and even he told his mom, who started telling other people's moms. I was scared my secret would reach my mom or somebody in my family. So one night I was at my best friend's house and I texted my mom I think I am bisexual, then she replied I am coming to pick you up, what type of drugs are you taking the devil is inside you, u could burn in hell for this. I ran out of my friends house in tears and ran away, for 4 hours my mom was looking for me, then she txts me that it's ok and she wants to know if I am and where I am, I tell her, then she comes an picks me up. She starts driving and calls the police saying she had found me. Then as soon as she hung up. She starts screaming stuff like that's horrible, u should be made fun if for that, and u will go to hell for that etc... Then we get home and she locks me in her room, while she is telling me how wrong being bi is an threatens to take everything away from me etc... I tell her I was just confused but that I am straight. The next day she tells me if I don't tell everybody I am straight not bi then I will get grounded for the rest of my life, and we will move some where far away. All I wanted to do was kill my self, my life SUCKED!!! But I don't tell anybody I was straight still said i was bi. I tried to commit suicide by falling asleep in a bath rub full of water then to drown, but I woke up and was ok. Till this day that kid still goes around telling people my secret and he bullies me and calls me faggot and weird etc. My mom beats me sometimes, and I am still very suicidle. I don't know what to do I am only 14 and need advice. Sorry for making this so long

 

my parents are divorced, and live in separate places. My dad seems like he would probably be more accepting, but I'm scared to come out to him.