I tried to come out to my mother, but it was pretty unsuccessful. I've been on the fence about whether I am gay or bi, but I thought I figured it out. Due to this sudden revelation, if you will, I decided to tell her. I sort of hinted at her, and asked her what she thought about being gay, etc. Then, I finally told her, and she didn't believe me because apparently "I was never tomboyish nor masculine." She then said that she thinks that some people are "born gay" and that there's biological factor, and that others sort of become gay and just think they prefer the same sex. She also said that no one can really know until they've had sex, etc. Honestly, I felt pretty invalidated and offended. I'm a pretty "girly" girl, and I suppose most people would not expect me to be gay or bi. I've been struggling with this so-called "sexuality crisis" for years now, and now I'm back to thinking that it's all in my head. I only want to date girls, kiss girls, etc., but I do think some guys are good looking. I think I am gay, but it's hard to come to terms with it when my mom thinks it's a joke, for attention, and just me "experimenting."
I think my mom thought it was a phase. But hey - she's great now and loves me so much! My point is that maybe this is her defense. Maybe she's just shocked. Don't get so upset. Look at this time as a way for you to really make decisions about yourself and OWN it. I think that's one of the gay communities biggest issues - we need to all learn to OWN who we are. Because then people will really respect us.
Thanks for your feedback. I should probably give her more credit. I was expecting her to be really open and accepting because she always presented herself that way, but I suppose it's easier to accept others being gay than one's own daughter.
I actually read an article written by a baby boomer parent talking about this specific issue: How many/most of the baby boomer parents are perfectly fine with gay people, and with *other* people having gay sons/daughters... but when it's one of their own children, they struggle more with acceptance, and looking at the reasoning behind it. I don't remember any startling conclusions, but one of the issues is just the "stages of loss"... denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance... because parents always perceive of their children's adult lives, and when they find out a child is gay, they (often wrongly) assume that means that the visions they'd created aren't going to happen.
I'm of the opinion that nobody truly knows till they do have sex with different sexes. Its not popular to agree with peoples parents or relatives but this one that I agree with completely. Sorry it might not be popular just my experience that you are more likely to know in that view. Not saying that this is the end all be all but more than thoritical attraction.
