This post is going to be pretty long so if you don't want to read through all of it here's the gist of it. I came out to my mom who was supportive and believes it was something that I was born with and something I cannot change but does not believe it is natural or normal :bang:. Alright, so I came out to my mom about a week ago. I didn't really plan on coming out, but I decided it was something that I couldn't hide anymore. My mom is somewhat religious and this is one of the reasons I didn't want to tell her because I knew that she wouldn't understand. I came home from school and she asked me if anything was bothering me. I told her nothing was and went to my room to listen to music and relax. She didn't really ask me again until right before I was getting ready to go to bed. I told her it was something I didn't want to tell her, and she told me she couldn't help me if I wouldn't tell. At this point I told her that I would write it down on a piece of paper and she could read it after I went to sleep. I went to sleep and woke up at around six in the morning to get ready for a weekly youth group at Burger King that I go to. We didn't talk about it at all as she drove me there and dropped me off. It was on my mind the entire day at school and I couldn't focus on anything. After I got home she didn't bring it up and neither did I. She didn't bring it up until I was getting ready for bed when she came into my room and said that she'd like to talk about what I wrote down. I came out of my room and sat down on the couch. The first thing that she asked me was if I was really sure that I was gay, which obviously I am VERY sure of. She also asked me if I had ever had sex and I said no. She asked me if I had tried to turn straight and I told her yes. I'm not going to go through the whole conversation which lasted about 2 hours but basically what she said after this is that she supports me and always will but does not believe homosexuality is natural or normal and doesn't want that kind of life for me. She also believes that you are born with it and that it is something that you cannot change but still thinks it should be fought against. Although I had wished for a more positive reaction I guess I can't really complain because I know that there are a lot of LGBT kids out there who get kicked out because their parents don't accept them.
Congratulations :eusa_danc it's great how you're mom reacted, at least she still loves you as her child and doesn't try to change you
Ya.. Someone knowing and accepting is always relieving. I guess it just wasn't the reaction you were looking for? If my mom miraculously responded that way, everything would be a bit easier
For someone who has some strong religious beliefs, she sounds remarkably enlightened in acknowledging that it's innate and not changeable. You're lucky to have a great parent, and you're also really brave and mature to just speak to it and get it out there. That shows a lot of openness and willingness to be vulnerable, which is an important and crucial piece of being in touch with your emotions and feelings, and living a full, wholehearted life. I think the rest of it -- the "you have to fight against it" -- will be something she'll come to let go of in time. You might want to have her watch the Matthew Vines video (search it on Youtube) and also the two of you should watch "Prayers for Bobby" together. It's a wonderful and amazing film and really speaks to parents struggling with religious beliefs.
Great job on coming out! I'm glad your mom accepted you! I'd like to know what you wrote in your letter. Not exactly just what you wrote in general. I'm thinking of doing something like this for my parents.
