Gay Pride?

That is beautiful, and I wish I was going with my kid (I am in LA). I don't have kids but I love them.

Plus this is good for you emotionally. Things are changing now very fast. You came out when you were good and ready. Not really too late apparently.

 

As with any orientation we should be proud of our self as we are. Being proud is a state of being for anyone. A straight person should be proud. Transgender people should be proud. It is pride in self.
I have watched over the years and seen that many LGBTQ people are not really proud of who they were born to be. Many say they hate themselves and would be straight if they could. You said "Being gay is not a choice" this is true. But the hetero society has tole everyone from birth that we are expected to be straight. We are not as you well know. The problem is we are not accepted so people hide and life becomes a struggle. You found out a tad later in life. You took the high road and came out and will be your true self and that is so cool. Yes you should be proud of yourself no matter what you are. Hugs and love.

 

Yes, very kid friendly, and it's going to be rather large "family" turnout this year, I can feel it. The parade is great for kids and all the people being happy and loving. The pride event where you pay to go in is rather not so kid friendly.

I have straight friends who have gone and told me it was the nicest, friendly folks together in one group that they had ever seen.

Not that it matters, but is your ex ok with this idea? Or does he need not know. It would be nice if you have full support.

 

Wow. I'm in a straight relationship and consider myself "lesbian with rare exceptions", and I've wondered if I'm in a situation exactly like you describe. I've wondered if I'm too gay for this relationship, but I have many, many reasons to stay. The pros outweigh the cons. Part of it was feeling like I was losing part of my identity because this relationship makes me look straight and I'm really, really not. I feel like as long as I'm still connected with that part of myself, I can be whole and happy. I just find it fascinating to find someone with that similar "straight relationship but lesbian" thing going on.

 

Thanks... I'm having a hard time being intimate with him too, but we're otherwise pretty happy. The thing is, it used to be so easy for me and I'm trying to go back to that. I think what I meant was that it was interesting finding someone who had been in a similar situation.

 

Pride in your self worth is what he gay pride started as. We have value as people and born out of this is the Gay Pride movement. We are not second class we should be equal. It is not we are proud because we are LGBTQ. Everyone alive should be proud of who they are and know they have value and worth. We need to stand tall as community and be proud of our differences because we are being discriminated against in big ways. Hugs

 

I can't quite figure for sure what you are saying? The pros or staying in a straight relationship outweigh the cons, meaning you are going to stay "connected" to the man and feel whole?

Sarah actually told herself that life is short, she needs to be whole, and not in a straight relationship at all, not bi sometimes, but gay all the time. Which is harder to consider and do, but bigger payoff. And she did it when it would least disrupt her son's upbringing. He is too young to get the politics or gay anything, and just old enough to be able to be away from mom now and then and be with daddy.

But there are tons of married men and women with kids where one of them is gay, not bi but gay. The other spouse does not know it, or slightly knows but is in denial. Let's hope more and more kick the doors off the closet. I think there is something going on now in modern culture. A couple times per week there is an article in the NY Times about someone getting married, or coming out, or same-sex marriage passes the senate, or some church is now blessing SS marriages. All this is getting world-wide attention, Franch, the UK, same thing.

So NerdyGayWitch, I hope you end up where you want to be to feel whole, and not half way to paradise.

 

That's exactly what I did. Got to a stage in my life where I realised I had been fooling myself the whole time and letting society dictate my sexuality to the point where I have got a 19 month old son and was nearly on the verge of marriage and building a house.

I told her I was bi initially because of 2 things:
1) I was still slightly cloudy as to whether I was 100% gay
2) I couldn't bear the thought of completely destroying her by saying I was gay which is basically a 'there is no hope for you of us getting back together'.

Anyway after a week living together when we split up and then my first week in my own place, I realised that I am actually gay and that I have just been having a bit of trouble breaking away from the old mould of my 'hetro' lifestyle. I told her and feel great for being honest with everybody and myself

 

Well, guys, I feel pretty good about things, as long as I have a place where I can truly express myself instead of looking so straight all the time. Fortunately, I have this website, my home, and my friends. And yes, I am staying connected to the man and feeling whole. Well, of course there are things like juggling home and work that don't make me feel so whole, but that has nothing to do with whether or not I'm too gay for this relationship. I just find it interesting to talk to people like you who have also asked, "am I too gay for this relationship?" May we each find what makes ourselves happy, no matter what they may be.

 

It's very hard to do, and consider that you might be gay when you can pass reasonably well, can perform with the opposite sex well, or well enough to conceive a child. One think that is I made it this far, I really can't be 100% gay. Why wreck what I have build up thus far, it could be a happy home with a white picket fence, dog in yard, and a bed of roses.

Yes, it must be hard when you have gotten that far and into a comfort zone, and to throw that away, and start over with authenticity and an attempt at integrity. Few from the outside could understand. But you were able to look at the long term effects of a little white lie turning into a long dreaded life of frustration and anger for not living your own reality.

I have a friend from work who is married and has an infant child. He has dropped me tons of hints that he thinks I am hot, and that he in not 100% straight, yet he is in the closet. I wonder how long he will keep up that act? Or if he will ever come around and at least flat out admit (to me) he likes men even if he stays married for the time being. I'd just like some honesty so we can be friends based on that.

 

You're kind of right about that. Really, I'm about 95% into females. I feel like "lesbian with rare exceptions" describes me better than "bi" because "bi" implies I like men more than I do. Then again... what's in a label anyway? Some people want to just throw out labels, but on the other hand if it makes you understand yourself better, like it does for me, then it has a use. So I can identify as "lesbian with rare exceptions", "pretty gay", "queer", and can kind of identify as "bi".

 

Hi! I am just like you both. Accepted that I am a lesbian in my 30s with children and a husband.